Keeping Secrets
by JMHHFAN69
Summary: It's been five years since The Verdict. Someone has a secret that can potentially ruin their marriage and their relationship with their family and friends. Is Chloe truly worth the risk or has her acting skills improved while in prison? This is a short story continuation of my first series (Decisions, The Verdict, The Tour and The Beginning, The Middle and The End).
1. Chapter 1

**I hope you enjoy reading this short story. Warning, I'm still writing and editing this story therefore the ending is still up in the air. There may not be a happy ending to this story like there is to my other stories. I wanted to try something different. **

**This is the fantasy world I created because I'm patiently waiting for HH season 2. I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 1**

**The Parole Hearing**

_I can't believe it's been five years since Chloe was sentenced to prison. I didn't expect this day to come so soon. I hope Chloe will continue to keep our secret if she's granted parole today. I've been happily married for five years and this secret can change that._

_Once a month for the past five years, I've visited Chloe in prison and no one knows. I'm surprised my family never caught on to my visits to the women's correctional facility. I'm even more surprised that the paparazzi never caught on._

_Prison life was really hard for her. The other inmates bullied her and kicked her ass more than a few times. She was almost rapped once. That is when I started visiting her. She called me one evening I was at home alone working on a new song and almost didn't answer the call but I'm glad I did._

"_Please don't hang up," Chloe pleads when I answer._

"_Why are you calling me?" I ask._

"_I needed someone to talk to and you're the first person I thought of," Chloe says crying._

"_Why me? What makes you think I have anything to say to you?" I ask._

_Chloe starts sobbing on the phone, "they tried to rape me," she says through her tears. "Two women held me down while another one tried to rape me; a guard walked by at the right time. I've been moved to a different cell block," she continues to cry; "if they had succeeded I would have killed myself afterwards."_

_I'm shocked; I take a deep breath before I say anything, "I'm sorry that happened to you, no one deserves that. When did this happen?" I ask._

"_Today," Chloe whispers. "I've been in here for six months and I've been bullied, beat up, and now almost rapped. I'm not going to survive five years and that's if I'm paroled in five years."_

_I feel sorry for her. I don't think she's ever had to physically fight for her life but if she's going to survive five years in prison she's going to have to toughen up. "Look Chloe," I begin, "you can't let them see you cry. They will think you're weak and an easy target. Save the tears for your pillow."_

"_That's easy for you to say. You don't know what it's like for me in here. It's not like I'm this nobody who committed a crime and was sentence to prison. Everyone knows who I am and what I've done. The lies, the cheating, the false accusations, the accident; they go out of their way to remind me every day that I'm a horrible person," she cries._

"_Why am I the first person you thought of?" I ask._

"_For once in my life, I want someone to get to know the real me. Cynthia Kowalski not Chloe Carter. I want that someone to be you," she says. "Will you come visit me?" Chloe asks._

"_I can't visit you," I say._

"_Yeah, I know. The paparazzi will post pictures of you entering and leaving. Jake will have a stroke behind it. Your marriage would be in jeopardy, your family will be mad and your fans will not understand," she says crying again._

_I think about how true her statement is. I stand to lose the love of my life, my family and friends, my fans. "I'll find a way to visit you," I hear myself say. I need to make sure Chloe is okay; that she will survive prison life I say to convince myself._

_That statement sealed my fate, I made a conscious decision to visit Chloe Carter; I'm happy I did. Chloe has become a friend and I've been able to hide our friendship from everyone for five years._

Chloe walks into the hearing room of the women's correctional facility where she's lived for the past five years. She looks at her mom and gives her a small smile but does not look at anyone else in the room. She sits at the table facing the parole committee waiting to hear their decision.

"Miss. Carter, you are here today because you've submitted your application for parole. The committee has reviewed your application and read your file. We have also read statements from the victim's family and friends including a statement written by your accomplice, Mr. Tyler Rorke. One letter in particular helped us make our decision," a reviewer states.

Chloe takes a deep breath and close her eyes, _"this is it,"_ she thinks to herself, _"if they deny my parole I will take my life tonight. I can't survive another five years in this hell hole. Even though the monthly visits helped me tremendously, I can't do another five years in here."_

_Chloe sneaks a quick look in my direction, I offer a quick supportive smile before anyone sees me._

"Miss. Cater," another reviewer begins, "we, the parole committee, has come to a unanimous decision to grant you parole."

Chloe puts her face in her hands and begins to cry.

"_I wish I can go over and comfort her. I really worried that she would harm herself if the decision went the other way."_

"Ms. Carter, you will have to meet with your parole officer once a month for the next five years. You will be released within twenty-four hours," the last reviewer says.

_Chloe stands and turns to face us, we briefly make eye contact again before she hugs her mom. My family and Tyler quietly exit the building and get into the back of the Escalade._

"I wonder which letter helped them make their decision," Nora says.

"I know it wasn't mine," Max says, "I still think Chloe needs to serve her full ten year sentence."

"I just hope she has changed," Tyler says. "We've all moved on with our lives. I just hope Chloe can too. Maybe Jackie will convince her to go back to Fresno and start over. She has nothing left in Hollywood."

_I never considered that possibility. Could we remain friends if she moved to Fresno? If she stays in LA then I can figure out a way for us to still be friends. Hell I've done it for five years, I know I can do it for five more._

"Eddie, Loren, you two are quiet. How do you feel about Chloe getting out?" Max asks.

"I wish her the best and hope she can move on with her life," Loren says.

"I agree," Eddie says.

_I know at some point I have to tell them that Chloe and I have been friends for the past five years. Now isn't the right time. I hope they understand why I started visiting her and hope they find it in their hearts to forgive me. I turn and look at the one person in this world I can't live without. My heart fills with love. I don't regret my actions, I just wish I had been open and honest about my once a month visits. As soon as the car drops us off at the house, I go upstairs and pull out my other cellphone; the one I purchased after I visited Chloe a few times. I didn't want to take any chances with someone finding out about our friendship. I make a phone call with my other cellphone, "I need to arrange for a car to pick up Chloe Carter from the women's correctional facility tomorrow afternoon and drop her off at her old condo," I whisper. "Also arrange for security guards to be posted outside of her condo. Make sure there is food in the refrigerator and cabinets; and she has anything else she needs."_

**Who befriended Chloe five years ago? Tell me what you think. ~jm~**


	2. Chapter 2

**You guys are great, I'm glad you like my short story so far. Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites. I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created.**

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 2**

**Welcome Home**

_I'm home alone so I keep the television on one of the news station. I want to know the minute Chloe is released from prison. The news of her parole has been on all channels and celebrity gossip sites since the parole committee's decision was announced yesterday. My other phone rings._

"Is there a problem with your release?"

"No, I asked if I could make one more call before I walked out the doors," Chloe says nervously.

"Don't be nervous. I arranged for a car to meet you out front. The driver will take you home."

"It's been five years, I don't have a home anymore," Chloe cries.

"You have a home. I've been paying the rent on your condo since I first visited you five years ago."

"You've done so much for me while I was in here. I know our friendship cannot continue once I walk out those doors. I'm really going to miss you," Chloe cries harder.

"I told you before, we will still be friends. I will just have to be more creative when I visit you. At least until I tell my family and friends about our friendship."

"You've jeopardized enough to come visit me for five years. I'm not foolish enough to think that your family and friends will want you to continue to be my friend once I leave this place," Chloe says.

"I don't regret visiting you and I certainly don't regret our friendship. I will find a way to continue to visit you. In the meantime, call me on this phone if you need anything. I asked the housekeeper to stock your refrigerator and cabinets and to make sure you had everything you needed. Now get off the phone and leave that hell hole. I will visit you in a couple of days."

"Thank you," Chloe says.

"You're welcome."

_I know I'm risking everything by continuing my friendship with Chloe. Maybe it's time I told my family about what I've been doing for the past five years. I know pop will have a heart attack and mom will think I've lost my mind. The person I'm most worried about is my soul mate; will the love of my life forgive me and stick by me and understand my friendship or will the love of my life leave me and divorce me?"_

"Chloe Carter is exiting the women's correctional facility," the news reporter shouts into the microphone, looking into the camera, "Miss. Carter, what are your plans now that you've been released?" the reporter asks sticking the microphone in her face.

Chloe doesn't respond, she continues to make her way to the car.

"Chloe, who is the mystery person that visited you these past five years?" the reporter asks following her as she makes her way to the car.

Chloe's step falters but she quickly recovers and continues walking to the car ignoring questions from the reporters and paparazzi. Once she reaches the car the driver opens the door and quickly closes it after Chloe climbs in. The driver runs to his door and gets in. He quickly pulls off; news reporters and paparazzi follow the car as it travels the forty-five minute drive to her condo.

_Visiting Chloe is going to be harder than I imagined. I will have to be extra careful._

There are more news reporters and paparazzi waiting outside of Chloe's condo blocking the walkway to her front door. I pull out my secret phone and make a phone call. "Please have security clear the pathway so Chloe can get to her front door without any problems." _I look at the television screen and watch as the ten security guards I hired are follow my instructions. News reporters and paparazzi are being forced to move away from the walk way._

_Four security guards walk over to the car, one opens the door and reaches in to help Chloe out. They form a diamond pattern with Chloe in the middle and walk her to her front door. Another security guard opens the door as the others step to the side to allow her to walk into her home. I call her._

"Hello."

"It's me."

"You did all this for me?' Chloe asks.

"I wanted to make sure that my friend got home safely."

"Thank you so much. I hope those reporters and paparazzi don't stay out there all night," Chloe says.

"The security guards will take shifts watching your front and back doors until all this blows over. If you need to leave the house for any reason one will go with you."

"You don't have to do any of this," Chloe says.

"I want to do this for my friend."

"I know I keep saying this but thank you."

"You're welcome."

There is a knock on Chloe's door, "Miss. Carter," one of the security guard says, "there is a Jackie Kowalski here to see you."

"Let her in," Chloe says, "I gotta go, my mom is here."

"I'm scheduled to go to the studio this evening; I will call you later if it's not too late."

"Okay," Chloe says ending the call.

_Now that I know Chloe is out of prison and home safe, I can concentrate on the songs I'm recording tonight._

Two hours later. _I've been trying to focus on my songs for the past two hours but my mind keeps wandering. Why am I feeling guilty about my friendship with Chloe now? It wasn't a problem for me when I was visiting her. Maybe I will tell mom first. Mom is the rational one in our family; she's the family mediator. We all kind of take our queue from mom. She'll understand why I became friends with Chloe and stand by my side when I tell everyone else. I pull out my phone._

"Hello mom,"

"Hello sweetheart, how are you? I thought you were recording tonight."

"I'm fine mom," I sigh, "I have to be at the studio in an hour. The reason I'm calling you is because I need your help with something."

"What can I help you with? Did you see on the news that Chloe was released from prison two hours ago?"

"Yes I watched," I say biting my lip

"I wonder how she was able to afford the car and security guards."

"Maybe a good friend paid for the car and security guards," I began.

Mom chuckles humorlessly, "who would want to be Chloe Carter's friend? She has done nothing but hurt the people I love and care about. I hope she packs up and moves back to Fresno with Jackie."

"It's been five years mom, maybe she's changed."

"A leopard can't change its spots," she says sarcastically.

"I have to go mom, I forgot I was supposed to stop by Jake's office before I go to the studio."

"Wait, I thought you needed my help with something."

"I'll tell you about it later, I love you."

"I love you too, can't wait to hear what you record. You guys come by tomorrow evening for dinner, I'm making a pecan pie for dessert," she says before ending the call.

_Well there goes that idea. I guess my theory of mom understanding my friendship with Chloe is out the window. Without her on board, I can almost guarantee I'll be disowned and in divorce court. I need to rethink my approach._

**I'm going to toss a coin, heads Eddie, tails Loren. Chloe's friend will be revealed in the next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**You guys are great, I'm glad you like my short story so far. Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites. I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created.**

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 3**

**Chloe's Secret Friend**

_Chloe was released two months ago and I haven't been able to visit her yet. We've talk on the phone every day but it's not the same. I can tell she misses seeing me and I have to admit, I miss seeing her too. My recording schedule has been crazy. The love of my life has an interview this evening and will be away for a few hours. This is the first break I've had and it's the perfect time to visit Chloe for a little while. I call Chloe._

"Hello," Chloe says when she answers the phone.

"It's me. I have a break in my schedule. I can come visit you for an hour tonight."

"Are you sure you want to risk it?" Chloe asks. "The gossip hounds are still staking out my condo."

"I'll wait until they pack up and leave."

"How do you know what time they leave?" Chloe asks.

"I've been doing my own stakeout for a couple of weeks."

"If you're sure you won't get caught, I would love to see you," Chloe says.

"I'll see you tonight," ending the call.

_I still haven't told anyone about our friendship and I've been on edge. The guilt has been eating away at me, my family and close friends know there's something bothering me._

_Tonight I follow the same routine I followed when I visited Chloe in prison. I drive my car to Jake's office building and park it on the top level of the parking garage. I take the elevator to the second floor; Jake's office is on this floor. I take the stairs to the fifth floor and walk to the small office I secretly rent and change into my disguise._

_I then take the elevator to the top level in the parking garage and get into an old beat up car I bought from a used car lot five years ago. Once I drive out the parking garage, I have exactly two hours to visit Chloe and get back. _

_I drive to a street three blocks from Chloe's condo and park my car. I walk the three blocks to her condo and watch as the news reporters and paparazzi pack up to leave for the night. _

_I stand in the shadows thinking about the first time I visited Chloe in prison._

_When Chloe was lead to the window I was speechless; she had a black eye and two stiches on her lip. There are scratches on her face and arms and bruises on her wrists. _

"_I don't know you," Chloe said getting ready to leave the window._

"_Chloe wait," I quickly said. "It's me." She takes a good look. I pull back the wig I was wearing and smiled._

"_I can't believe you came," Chloe said with tears in her eyes._

"_I can't believe it either. "What happened to you?" I asked._

"_I got my ass kicked in the shower a couple days ago," Chloe said as tears began to roll down her cheeks, "that's where the black eye and busted lip came from. The scratches and bruises happened when they tried to rape me."_

"_Why are they doing this to you?" I asked._

"_They don't tell me why their kicking my ass, they just do it," Chloe said, "but I cheated on my fiancé, I lied about who I was and where I came from, I text spoofed my fiancé new girlfriend, and I'm responsible for the accident that killed my fiancé mother. Oh did I mention my fiancé was Eddie Duran the beloved international rock star and his new girlfriend was Loren Tate the beloved up and coming international rock star? So I guess you know why I'm getting my ass kicked in here," Chloe said as more tears roll down her cheeks. _

"_What can I do to help?"_

"_You being here helps," Chloe said. "I know I've done nothing but hurt you but I really need a friend. Do you think we can be friends?"_

_I thought about it for a minute. "I can try," I replied, she smiled. "How about you start off by telling me about Chloe Carter?"_

"_I've lied about myself for so long it's hard to remember what's real and what I made up but I will try," Chloe said. "My real name was Cynthia Kowalski, and I'm originally from Fresno, California. My mom did the best she could to give me what I wanted but her best was never good enough for me."_

_She began telling me about her childhood in Fresno and the beauty pageants she made Jackie enter her in. I listened to Chloe talk about herself for almost an hour. I found myself laughing at some of the things she did to psych-out her competition. I was starting to like this side of Chloe. _

_If a correctional officer hadn't told us our time was up, I would have stayed longer._

"_I really appreciate you coming to visit me," Chloe said._

"_It was my pleasure," I replied._

"_Do you think you can come again?" Chloe asked with hope in her eyes._

"_I won't make any promises, we're going back on tour in a few months," I see the hope evaporate and replaced with disappointment in her eyes, "I will do my best to visit before we leave."_

"_Thank you for coming," Chloe said._

_I leave the prison happy that I made the decision to visit Chloe. I once again make the conscious decision to visit her every month. The last time I visited her before going on tour, Chloe had a cast on her arm. One of the inmates twisted her arm behind her back breaking it. I purchased the secret phone and gave Chloe the number. We talked on the phone for thirty minutes every other week the whole time I was on tour. Our friendship continued to grow. I even found myself confiding in Chloe about my life and career. I still can't believe she gave me some good advice._

_I watched as the last news van pulled away from the building making a right turn at the corner. I venture out from the shadows and cross the street. I walk up to the door and pause before I knock._

_There will not be a glass window separating us this time. No bad connection on the visitor's phone. I take a couple of deep breaths and knock on the door. After a minute of standing there, the door opens._

"Hi Chloe," I say smiling.

"Hi Eddie," Chloe says smiling back.

_I'm feeling insecure and unsure of what to do next as I stand there smiling at Chloe. When she was behind a glass window I knew I couldn't hug her or hold her hand when she cried, but right here, right now, there's nothing separating us. I'm not sure if I should hug her or just walk in. _

_Chloe must have sensed my hesitation; she steps back and gestures for me to come in. I walk in and take off the wig and mustache. I don't know why I'm so nervous all of a sudden. This is Chloe my friend; I've spent the last five years getting to know the real Chloe Carter. She's shared so much of her real self with me. This is the person I wish she had shown me back when we were dating. I really like this Chloe._

"Do you want something to drink?" Chloe asks closing the door and walking towards the kitchen.

"No thanks, I'm good, but don't let me stop you having a drink," _I walk over and sit on the couch sitting the wig, mustache and my car keys on the coffee table in front of me._

"I don't want anything to drink," she says sitting on the other end of the couch.

_Why are things so awkward between us right now? When there was a window separating us we had lots to say. When we talked on the phone there was no pause in our conversations. Why am I so insecure right now? _

"How are you?" _I ask trying to break the awkward silence. _"You look great by the way."

"Thanks," Chloe says running her fingers through her hair. "I'm doing well. How is Loren?"

My eyes follow the path of her fingers; my fingers itching to touch her hair. _What the hell am I doing looking at the way her hair falls through her fingers. _ "Loren is fine; she's recording an interview that will air tomorrow night."

"She has really grown into a confident woman. I remember the night she won your song writing contest and fainted," Chloe laughs, "look at her now. I'm really happy for her; happy for both of you."

_There it is again, that awkward silence, I'm not sure how to respond to that. We've talked about Loren before so why am uncomfortable talking about my wife now? "_Are you getting out the house more?" _I ask to change the subject._

"I've been trying to go out, but the news hounds are still on my trail so I only go out when it's absolutely necessary," Chloe says licking her lips. My eyes are drawn to the moister on her lips. _What the hell is wrong with me, why am I looking at Chloe like this? I haven't had these kinds of feelings for Chloe Carter since I found out she was screwing Tyler behind my back. The whole time she was in prison I looked at her as just a friend. Why do I find myself attracted to her now? I know I forgave her for hurting me so many years ago, but I haven't forgotten the heartache and pain. That is something I will never forget._

"Chlo, you can't hide out in your condo for the rest of your life. Get out of the house, go shopping. Go have lunch with a friend. Call your agent, book some modeling jobs. Do something," _I say._

"You're my only friend Eddie," Chloe says as her eyes begin to fill with tears. "And you can't have lunch with me in a restaurant. I have a little money in my savings but I can't go shopping. I have too many battle scars on my face and body to even think about modeling again. So hiding out in my condo is my only option." The tears spill over and begin to roll down her cheeks.

_I don't remember scooting closer to Chloe and pulling her into my arms comforting her for a few minutes as she cries on my shoulder. I don't remember cupping her face and staring into her eyes wiping her tears with my thumbs, _"I love you Eddie," Chloe whispers. _I don't remember leaning in until my lips touched hers. I don't remember tracing her bottom lip with the tip of my tongue until she opens her mouth giving me permission to deepen the kiss. I don't remember running my fingers through her hair with one hand while the other hand pulls her closer to me._

_I do remember my wife, Loren. I do remember my love for Loren and the love she has for me. I do remember my wedding vows. I do remember that I made a promise to never hurt her. I do remember the heartache I felt when Chloe betrayed me. I do remember my father and the pain he felt losing my mother. I do remember my mother and the words of wisdom she passed on to me about finding true love. I do remember Nora, my other mother, and the love she has for me. I do remember that I am not a cheater so I pull back and put some distance between us._

"I'm sorry Chloe. I don't know where that came from. We're just friends," _I say to remind myself._

"I'm sorry Eddie. I shouldn't have let you touch me. I knew it was wrong but it felt good to be held and kissed by someone I love." Chloe whispers.

_That's the second time Chloe's said she loves me and it doesn't sound like she means in a friendship way. _"I think its best I leave now Chloe," _I say picking up the wig, mustache and keys from the coffee table and walking out the door. I do not notice the person in the shadows watching me leave Chloe's condo. I fast walk the three blocks back to my car._

**Eddie won the coin toss or depending on how you look at it, Eddie lost the coin toss. The outcome of my story was up in the air until I finally decided which character would be the secret friend. I know you guys have very strong opinions about this chapter, so I'm mentally preparing myself for your reviews and PMs. ~jm~**


	4. Chapter 4

**I was mentally prepared for a serious tongue lashing from you guys after posting chapter 3. But thank you so much for your positive reviews. I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created.**

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 4**

**These Are My Confessions (Usher)**

_I reach my car and jump in,_ "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!," _I yell at the top of my lungs while my fist pound the car ceiling. _"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"_ Loren's face pops in my head and tears form in my eyes. _"How could I do this to her?" _I ask myself. _ "How could I kiss another woman? Not just another woman, I kissed Chloe Carter. Why did I kiss Chloe?" _I lean forward until my forehead hits the steering wheel. _"I really messed up this time. No I messed up five years ago when I made the conscious decision to visit Chloe and not tell my wife." _I take a deep breath, _"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" _I yell again hitting my forehead on the steering wheel. _"I gotta tell her." _I put the key in the ignition and start the car. I decide to take the streets back to the office building so I can think about how I'm going to tell my wife that I've been keeping a secret for five years. An hour later I pull into the parking garage. I don't bother going through the trouble of changing clothes, I park the old car and get into my car and head home. My heart is pounding a mile a minute and I can't breathe. The closer I get to the house, the more I regret not telling Loren sooner. I pull into the driveway and see that Loren is home from her interview. I turn off the car and sit there in the dark collecting my thoughts. I take a final deep breath and get out the car. I walk to the front door, tears fill my eyes. _"I'm about to break my wife's heart,"_ I say before I open the door. All the lights are out in the house except the light in the kitchen. I slowly walk to the kitchen. I get to the kitchen door and freeze. Loren is sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of whiskey, a shot glass and tears rolling down her cheeks._

"For five years I noticed you would disappear once a month for a couple of hours. I didn't question you because I love you and I trust you." Loren says taking a shot of whiskey and refilling her glass. "For five years I noticed you talking on a cellphone that you keep hidden in the back of your closet. I didn't question you because I love you and I trust you." Loren takes another shot of whiskey and refills her glass. "At Chloe's parole hearing I saw you smile at her when she looked over her shoulder at you, I didn't question you because I love you and I trust you." Loren tosses back another shot and refills the glass. "I read the letter you wrote to the parole committee; you know the one that helped convince them to grant Chloe's parole? I didn't question you because I love you and I trust you." _Loren looks me in my eyes and tosses back another shot and refills her glass_. "I left in the middle of my tapped interview because Lily Park asked me about Chloe's book deal. I came straight home to tell you about it and you weren't here. I called your cellphone ten times, you didn't answer. I tracked your cellphone to Jake's office building; you left the phone in your car. Your car was there but you weren't. I decided to go to Chloe's condo, I parked my car and was about to walk up to the door but my husband came rushing out. He didn't even notice me." _My mouth drops open from shock. Loren looks me in my eyes tosses back the shot then picks up the bottle of whiskey, stands up making the chair fall back on the floor, _ "I'M FUCKING QUESTIONING YOU NOW EDDIE!"_ Loren screams at me throwing the bottle of whiskey at my head. I duck out of the way as the bottle hit the door above my head. Glass and whiskey rain down on me. I look up just as Loren throws the shot glass at my head. All I can do is block it with my hand; it shatters against my palm. I lower my hands in time to see Loren's cellphone come flying at me. I duck out the way and it broke into pieces when it hit the door above my head. Loren rounds the table coming at me with bawled fists. There are a thousand emotions flashing in her eyes as she comes towards me. I see hurt, betrayal, anger, heartache in her eyes; the emotion that knocks me to my knees is the look of pain in her eyes. I don't block her when her fist makes contact with my cheek. I don't block her when her other fist makes contact with my eye. I don't block her when her fist makes contact with the side of my head, I don't block her when her fist makes contact with my nose. I don't block her when her fist makes contact with my mouth. I sit there and let Loren hit me for as long as she wants because I know I deserved it and more. When Loren stops hitting me she collapses onto the kitchen floor crying. I pull her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her as tight as I can and together we cry as I whisper over and over _"I'm so sorry baby."

_After Loren's tears stop, I take a deep breath, _"Five years ago, I got a call from Chloe,"_ I began. I tell my wife about my conversation with Chloe that day and how I felt when she told me that she was being bullied and beaten. I tell my partner how I felt when Chloe told me she was almost raped. I tell my best friend why I started visiting Chloe. I tell my soul mate that I paid the rent on Chloe's condo for five years so that she would have a home to go to when she got out. I hold on tighter to the woman I truly love and tell her that I kissed Chloe Carter tonight. I hold my breath waiting for her reaction. I watch as my wife, the woman I love, pull away from me, stand up, reach back and slap me so hard my ears ring. _"Fuck you Eddie Duran," _my wife whispers with so much hatred in her eyes and voice. The love of my life walks away from me._

**Tell me what you think. ~jm~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4 is my all-time favorite chapter out of all the multi-chapter stories I've written. Thank you so very much to all of those who took the time to write a review of chapter 4. I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; ****this is the fantasy world I created.**** Everything in my fantasy world isn't lollipops and rainbows. Sh*t happens when Keeping Secrets.**

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 5**

**I'm Breathless Without You **

**(lyric from "Falling Into You" by Cody Longo)**

_I sit there for what seems like a life time trying to pull air into my lungs. It's hard for me to breathe. The ringing in my ears finally stopped. I get up and go to the supply cabinet and grab the mop, broom, bucket and cleaning supplies. I clean up the mess in the kitchen hoping that the movement will help me get more air into my lungs. After I take out the trash and put everything away I head upstairs. I walk to our bedroom door and listen for Loren. The room is quiet so I open the door and quietly walk in. Loren is asleep curled on her side hugging my pillow. My breath catches in my throat. I yearn to lay down with her, pull her into my arms and take a deep breath. Instead I go to the linen closet and pull out a blanket and gently cover her. I quickly gather some clothes and my toiletries and head to the guest bedroom. I turn on the light in the bathroom and take a good look in the mirror. My left eye is swollen it will be black and blue by morning; there's a cut on my left cheek caused by her wedding ring, my nose is on longer bleeding but there's dried blood all over my upper lip; my bottom lip is swollen and there's a cut in the corner of my mouth. _

_I still can't pull enough air into my lungs. I turn on the water in the shower hoping the steam will help me breathe but the steam is suffocating me; I quickly shower and get out. I put on a sweat suit and running shoes and leave out the room. I check on Loren once more, this time I give into my yearning and softly kiss her on the cheek, _"I love you baby, I'm so sorry I hurt you,"_ I whisper in her ear. I walk out our bedroom and head down stairs, _"might as well get this over with,"_ I say to myself as I walk out the kitchen door heading to the guest house to confess to mom and pop. _

_I try to take several deep breaths but I still can't pull in enough air and my chest is starting to hurt. I knock on the door. Pop opens the door, _"Eddie what the hell happened to you? Are you okay?" _Pop asks pulling me into a hug._

"It's nothing pop, I'm fine." _I look around the room, _"is mom here, I need to tell you guys something."

"I'm right here Eddie," _Mom says coming down the stairs. I turn and face her. Shock and worry cross her face. _"Eddie are you okay? What happened?"

"Mom. Pop. Please sit down, I need to tell you guys something," _I say gesturing for them to sit on the couch. _

Max and Nora exchange looks then sit on the couch._ I sit in a chair across from them and once again try to take a deep breath, my chest hurts, and I can't get enough air into my lungs. I drop my head in my hands and gather my thoughts. I try and take another deep breath before I look at them. _"Pop. Mom, five years ago, I got a phone call from Chloe," _I began. I tell them about my conversation with Chloe. I tell them about my monthly visits to the women's correctional facility. I tell them about the cellphone and the phone calls. I tell them about me paying the rent on her condo for five years. I tell them about the letter I wrote to the parole committee. I take another labored breath and I finally tell them about Loren's reaction to my visit to Chloe's tonight. The room is deathly quiet. The silence is killing me. I can't breathe. _

_My father is looking at me like I'm a stranger. Nora, my mother, can't look at me. My father drops his head. _"Get out,"_ did he say something? I don't move. _"Get out,"_ is he saying something? My dad slowly raises his head and looks me in my eye, _"GET OUT OF MY DAMN HOUSE EDUARDO DURAN!"_ he yells at me. Pop never calls me Eduardo unless he's really really mad._

"MAX," _Nora, my mother yells at him then looks at me with compassion in her eyes. I don't deserve her compassion. I slowly rise to my feet. I can't breathe._

"STAY OUT OF THIS NORA,"_ pop yells._

"Pop, don't yell at mom, this is my fault. Please don't take this out on her,"_ I say._

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO IN MY OWN HOUSE," _he shouts._

"Eddie is your son. Our children need us right now,"_ Nora says._

"He's no son of mine. My son would never knowingly befriend the woman who killed his mother, my wife. My son would never befriend the woman who broke his heart, cheated on him and lied to him. My son would never keep that kind of secret from his wife for five years because; I DIDN'T RAISE MY SON TO BE A DAMN CHEATER!" _The vein in pop's forehead is sticking out; I know he's really mad now. _"Eddie, I'm trying my best to not walk over there and choke you to death. So that I don't kill you right here, right now, I'm telling you to get out of my house,"_ pop says getting to his feet. Mom gets to her feet as well and is pushing him in his chest. In all my twenty-seven years I have never known my dad to be a violent man but right now I know that if Nora wasn't standing between us, I would be dead. I can't get enough air in my lungs. I'm light headed and my chest hurts. I take one last look at my dad, and then walk to the door. I'm about to pass out from the lack of oxygen in my lungs._

_I turn around, and shrug my shoulders, I'm gasping for air. _ "Do it pop," _I say raising an eyebrow. _"I don't want to live without Loren in my life. I can't breathe without Loren in my life. So do it pop. Choke me to death because I can't take the pain of losing her," _I says still gasping for air. I stumble over to him and fall at his knees, tears falling from my eyes, I look up at him, _"please pop, I can't take this pain, please do it,"_ I beg. Mom is sobbing into his chest and he's looking down at me._

**What should Max do? ~jm~**


	6. Chapter 6

**OMG, thank you for the reviews of chapter 5; some made me laugh; some made me shed a tear. You guys are the reason I put so much into my stories. So thank you again. I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 6**

**Goodbye**

_My dad grabs me by my sweatshirt and lowers his face until he's a few inches from me. _"That's exactly how I felt when your friend took the love of my life from me. You deserve everything you're feeling. You deserve everything Loren does to you and more," _he says with hurt and disappointment in his eyes. My dad lets go of my sweatshirt, step over me and walk out the door. I look at Nora, sitting on the couch crying._

"I guess you hate me too?" _I ask getting to my feet preparing myself for what she has to say to me._

"I don't hate you Eddie. I'm disappointed, I'm angry, I'm hurt but I don't hate you" _she says patting the cushion next to her, _"I'm trying to understand why. Why would you keep your friendship with Chloe a secret for five years?" _I walk over and sit next to her on the couch._

"I honestly don't know why. Now that I think about it I have no valid reason for keeping it a secret for so long."_ I lean back on the couch and close my eyes trying to come up with a reason for keeping that secret from my wife for so long. I feel mom get up. I'm too tired to open my eyes. A few minutes later I feel something cold on my eye. I open my other eye and see a first aid kit in her hands; she put an ice pack on my eye._ "Thanks mom, I don't deserve this."

"Why did you kiss her Eddie?" _she asks cleaning the cut on my cheek and in the corner of my mouth._

"Momentary lapse of judgment is the only reason I can come up with for kissing her. I don't love Chloe. To be honest with you mom, I haven't had those kinds of feelings for Chloe since Loren came into my life. I was engaged to Chloe when Loren came into my life."

"What are you going to do now?" _she asks closing the first aid kit._

"Call Chloe and end our friendship, then wait for my wife to wake up and sit there while she uses me as her punching bag until she's ready to talk to me."

"I can't believe she did this to your face."

"She was hurt and angry. I betrayed her, I can believe it."

"Loren has never laid a hand on anyone. This is so unlike her."

"Mom, when I told you about my friendship with Chloe what was your initial reaction?" _Mom chuckles, I smile, _"Yeah, that's what I thought; you're the only one who didn't react with violence. Why didn't you?"

"I'm still angry. I'm still hurt. I'm still disappointed. I am trying to be the reasonable one right now."

"I think you'd feel a little better if you took a swing at me. I know I would so go ahead I won't stop you." _I say closing my eyes. I feel a pair of lips on my cheek._ "Thanks mom, I love you."

"I love you too Eddie. You dad loves you and so does Loren. It may take them a little while to remember that but they will."

"Do you think Loren will divorce me?"

"I can't answer that. But I will support whatever she decides to do."

_Well now I know whose side she's on. Can't blame her though, "_It's getting late; I guess I better go, I don't want to be here when pop gets back." _I say getting to my feet. _

"Give him some time to cool off then you two can sit down and talk,"_ mom says walking me to the door. I open the door and step out._

"Eddie," _mom calls out to me, _"end your friendship with Chloe," _she says. I nod my head and slowly walk back to the house. I sit on the patio and pull out my not so secret phone._

"Are you okay?" Chloe asks when she answers the phone.

"I've been better."

"I'm really sorry Eddie. I should have pulled away."

"I never should have been there in the first place." _I hear Chloe catch her breath._ "You didn't tell me you had a book deal. When did this happen?"

"Who told you about the book deal?"

"It doesn't matter, you should have told me."

"It's not what you think Eddie, I promise."

"Then why didn't you tell me about it?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"What is the book about?"

"Eddie please trust me, it's nothing bad. I'm not trying to manipulate you or play games."

_I take a deep breath and count to ten, _"Loren knows all about our friendship. I told her about the kiss."

"What did you tell her?" _Chloe asks I can hear the shock in her voice._

"I confirmed what she already knew."_ I say leaning back in the lounge chair closing my eyes._ "She knew five years ago that I disappeared once a month. She knew five years ago about this phone. She read the letter I wrote to the parole committee, she even saw the reassuring smile I sent you at your parole hearing. She saw me leave your house tonight."

"What did she say?"

"She didn't say much and what she did say I choose not to repeat. Look Chloe, I'm really sorry for kissing you. I wasn't trying to lead you on. We were just friends. I don't think of you that way."

"You said were friends," _Chloe says interrupting me._

"My friendship with you has hurt my wife and family. I love my wife more than my own life and I have to do all I can to repair my relationships with my wife and family. So we can't be friends anymore Chloe."

_I can hear her softly crying over the phone and for the first time in five years I don't feel the need to comfort her. _"I'm sorry Eddie; I've done nothing but hurt you since I came into your life. I never wanted you to hurt Loren or Max. I appreciate everything you've done for me; I didn't deserve your friendship after everything I've put you and your family through, but thank you for being there for me when I really needed someone. I hope you can work things out with Loren. If you need me to talk to her I will. Max scares me so I will write him a letter if you want me to."

"No, it's okay. I have to do this on my own but thanks for offering to help. Take care Chloe, I wish you the best."

"Thank you Eddie. I hope Loren and Max forgive you."

"Goodbye Chloe," _I whisper._

"Goodbye Eddie," _she cries. I end the call._

_I get it now. I know why I kissed Chloe. I get up and walk over to the garbage can and toss the phone in. I walk into the house and go upstairs to wake up Loren. I slowly open the door and see the empty bed. I walk over to the bathroom and knock on the door before slowly opening it; no Loren. I quickly walk to the guest rooms searching for Loren. I search for her downstairs. I run back up the stairs taking them two at a time running back to our bedroom and to her closet, open the closet door. All of her clothes are there._ "LOREN!"_ I call out. No reply. I run downstairs and open the front door, her car is still parked in the driveway. I run to the guest house and knock on the door, mom opens the door, _"she's gone." _I cry._

**I know this chapter wasn't as exciting as the others but I had to transition so that the next chapter could be Loren's POV. ~jm~**


	7. Chapter 7

**OMG, thank you for the reviews of chapter 5; some made me laugh; some made me shed a tear. You guys are the reason I put so much into my stories. So thank you again. I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 7**

**Where In The World Is Loren Duran?**

_I wake up gasping for air, _"EDDIE," _I call out then I remember why I shouldn't be calling him, I hate him, how can he do this to me? To us? What did I do wrong? I don't deserve this! He don't deserve me, _"I have to get away from here, I can't be here anymore." _The walls feel like they're closing in on me, I can't breathe. _"I have to leave now!" _I say climbing out the bed running to my closet grabbing the first things my hands touch then rushing into the bathroom turning on the light still gasping for air. _"Why do my hands hurt," _I ask as I look down my knuckles are red and swollen,_ _I replay my outburst in my mind, I wished I had kicked him in the crotch a couple of times. _"Oh my gosh; who was that person, certainly not me. Did I really attack him? I have to get away from here." _I say desperately trying to get dressed while still replaying my attack in my mind, _"That person isn't me. I don't toss back shots of whiskey. I don't throw things at anyone trying to harm them and I certainly don't hit the man I love. Hell do I even love him anymore? I have to go." _I slip on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and tennis shoes; I brush my hair into a low ponytail and put on his baseball cap. I walk out the bathroom and grab my purse and keys, running downstairs to the wall safe in the music room. I punch in the code, open the safe and take the emergency cash we keep in there. I use the house phone to call for a taxi to pick me up on the corner. _"If I stay here any longer, I might kill him. Maybe they'll offer me a better book deal than they gave that bitch Chloe."_ Wait, stop Loren, you don't talk like that. You don't plot murder and call women bitches. It's best I leave now._

_I take one more look around before running out the front door._

_It's been a week since I left. I decided to stay in the only place I know no one will look for me; our family's cabin in Big Bear. Mom knows I don't like coming here because I could never get good reception on my cellphone. It's quiet up here, no distractions. I need time to clear my head and make some decisions about my marriage, my career, my life._

_The taxi driver thought I was crazy when I asked him to drop me off up here until I handed him three-hundred dollars. The first day I curled up in a ball and cried all day and all night. The next morning I walked to the general store down the road and bought food, supplies, and clothes. Now every morning I get up and take a walk and think about my life. In the afternoons I write music. In the evenings I sit by the fireplace thinking about Eddie. _

_I haven't been in contact with anyone since I left. I know I should at least call my mom to let her know I'm okay; I can't call her from the phone in the cabin. I decide to walk down to the general store and buy a pre-paid phone. I pull on my jacket, his baseball cap, and walk the half mile to the general store. _"Good morning Melissa, what can I get for you?"_ Tom, the store clerk asks when I walk through the door. I wanted to make sure that no one could disturb me here so I told Tom my name is Melissa Sanders. _

"Good morning Tom, I'm here to buy a pre-paid cellphone,"_ I smile at him. While Tom goes to the back to get the phone, I look around the store; a gossip paper's headline catches my attention, _International Rock Star Eddie Duran Announces Break From Music, _I walk over and pick up the paper and read the article, _yesterday at a scheduled press conference, international music artist Eddie Duran announces that he is taking a break from music. When asked why, the artist offered, "I need some time away and I hope my fans will understand that," as a reply. We believe this sudden break is due to the disappearance of his wife Loren Duran a week ago. A reliable source close to the Durans report that Max and Loren are not speaking to Eddie and it's because of Chloe Carter. Could this be the reason Chloe Carter moved back to Fresno? A friend close to Chloe stated that Chloe wrote a tell all book about Eddie Duran that is due in book stores next month. Could this be the reason behind Loren's disappearance and Eddie's break from music? Before leaving the press conference, Eddie played a new single he calls his love letter to the love of his life, "Falling Into You."

"Here's the phone, I activated it for you and wrote the number on the inside of the box, do you need anything else?" _Tom asks handing me the box._

"Yes I'll take this paper too,"_ I say handing him some money and wait for my change._ "Hey Tom, do you have a bus schedule?"

"Yes they're on the wall by the door."

"Thanks, I'll see you later,"_ I say taking a bus schedule before walking out the general store and rushing back to the cabin. I toss the pre-paid phone box next to me as I sit on the couch and re- read the article._ "I hope I get can get on the internet on this phone,"_ I taking the phone out the box and turning it on. _"Great 3G," _I say when the phone connects to the internet. I search YouTube for the song. It's the lyrics version; I hit play, and listen to Eddie's love letter to me. Silent tears are rolling down my cheeks as the lyrics appear on the page over pictures of him sitting at the piano my heart melts a little. I replay the song four times before I decide it's time to call my mom. I take a deep breath before dialing her number._

"Hello?" _mom answers after three rings_.

"Hi mom."

"Loren? Sweetie where are you? Are you okay?" _she asks crying._

_Tears continue to roll down my cheeks, _"yes, it's me. I'm fine. I'm not telling you where I am I need to be alone right now." _I hear the phone rustling mom must be putting me on speaker. I hold my breath hoping it's not Eddie there with her. I'm not ready to talk to him._

"Loren sweetheart, this is pop. Where are you so we can come pick you up?"_ Max says into the phone._

"I'm not ready to come back pop," _I cry. _"I just need to be along so I can figure things out. When I'm ready I'll come home." _I hear Max take a deep breath._

"We love you Lo, let us help you through this," _Max cries._ "We just want to make sure that you're safe. You can stay in my old apartment above the club if you don't want to be in the house with him" _Pop said him like it's a four letter word._ "Don't let his stupidity keep you away from the ones who truly love you."

_I close my eyes and take a deep breath, my parents are hurting but I'm not ready to come home. "_I'm safe, I promise. I need to figure this out on my own," _I whisper trying to suppress the sob from escaping._

"Lo we're worried about you; please tell us where you are. I promise we will respect your privacy,"_ mom says crying harder which makes me sob. I can hear Max sniffing too. I have to hang up before I give into them, it's killing me knowing how much this is hurting them too, but I have to do what's best for me._

"I love you guys. I'll call again in a few days,"_ I whisper before ending the call, _"damn you Eddie Duran, this is all your fault," _I say laying on the couch. I look on the floor and see the bus schedule; I pick it up and search through the schedule until I find the city I'm looking for. I check the time on the phone, then pack up my clothes and supplies; lock up the cabin and put the key back in its hiding place and walk back to the general store to purchase my one way ticket to Fresno, California._

**Mmhmm, what do you think is going to happen when Loren gets to Fresno?**


	8. Chapter 8

**I apologize for going MIA for a two days, had 24 hours to come up with a Plan B for a BIG birthday bash that I had been planning for six months. Thanks so much for the reviews of chapter 7. I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 8**

**Dear Max **

_I wish I can do more, it's killing me to watch her desperately call Loren, _"where could she be?" _Nora asks me crying pressing the call button on her cellphone for the hundredth time. The call goes straight to voice mail_. "Lo, please call me back. I just want to know where you are."

"I wish I knew honey,"_ I say wrapping my arms around Nora when she put the phone down on the bar, _"this is all that idiot's fault. Loren would be here right now if he would just stay the hell away from Chloe. She has never been good for him why can't he see that? Chloe has done nothing but hurt our family."

_Nora pulls away from me_, "I don't understand how you can shut him out like this Max. At the end of the day he is still your son."

"Why are you defending him Nora?" _I ask getting angry._

"I'm angry with Eddie. I'm disappointed in him. His actions hurt me too. But I refuse to shut him out when he needs me the most. How can you expect him to come to you in time of need when your first reaction is to kill him and shut him out?"

"I don't get you Nora; you once told me that you would go all Mama Grizzly on him if he ever hurt your baby. Your baby is hurting because of his actions; where is Mama Grizzly?"

"Loren and Eddie are adults and have been married for five years, they don't need Mama Grizzly, they need understanding and support. As much as I want to go Mama Grizzly on him, I'm not because you went Papa Grizzly," _Nora chuckles_, "would you have really choked your own son Max?"

_I have to take a deep breath,_ "you don't know how close I came to giving him what he wanted. I've experienced that kind of pain when Chloe took my Katy from me. I know what it feels like to want someone to put you out of your misery. I'm not going to make it that easy for him," _I say walking away from the bar._

_Nora follows me wrapping her arms around me from the back, _"Max I know Katy was the love of your life and she was tragically taken from you, but do you really think she would want you to treat your son like this when he needs you the most?" _I hear the catch in her voice when she said Katy was the love of my life._

_I place my hands over hers, _"I truly love you Nora, please don't think or feel like I don't. You're not a replacement for Katy," _I whisper. _"It's so hard for me to understand why Eddie would keep that kind of secret from his wife, from all of us for five years. Then to kiss her? What was he thinking?"

"Did you ask him why?" _Nora whispers. _

_I turn around in Nora's arms and hug her and kiss the top of her head,_ "I truly love you Nora."

"I know you do Max. I truly love you too,"_ Nora says squeezing her arms around me._

"To answer your question, no I haven't asked him why."

"Maybe you should."

_A delivery person walks into the club interrupting our conversation_, "excuse me," _the he says_. "I have a letter for Max Duran," _he says holding up an envelope._

"That would be me," _I say as he walks over, handing me a tablet for me to sign_. "Please sign on the x sir." _I sign the tablet and hand it back to him. He hands me the envelope and walks out._

"What is it Max?" _Nora asks as I walk back to the bar and sit on a stool._

"I don't know," _I reply opening the envelope, pulling out a letter and another envelope._

Dear Max, _the letter begins._

I know I'm the last person you want to hear from, but I feel that I need to do this for Eddie and Loren. I made a mistake. No scratch that, I made several mistakes that has caused your family pain and for that I offer is my humblest apologies.

You and Katy raised a caring, forgiving man with a heart of gold. I didn't appreciate what I had until I lost him the first time but I fully know what I'm losing now. I was going through a difficult time in prison and your son was the only person I could think of when I needed a friend. Five years ago I took a chance and reached out him and Eddie came to my rescue.

I don't expect you to fully understand why he did what he did, but please know that the man you and Katy raised is not a liar nor is he a cheater. I'm asking you to please forgive your son and help him repair his marriage.

I'm enclosing a copy of the letter Eddie submitted to the parole committee on my behalf; then you decide if he deserves the heartache and pain of losing the love of his life or if he deserves a second chance.

Eddie and Loren belong together, I know that. I want that for my friend.

Yours Truly,

Cynthia Kowalski

_I open the enclosed envelope, pull out the letter, and silently read it. After a few minutes, I hand Nora the two letters, get up from the stool, grab my keys off the bar and run out the door._ "Where are you going?" _I hear Nora calls out to me._

_I ignore all driving laws as I race to my destination. All the time I'm chastising myself. I pull into the drive way, turn off and jump out the car all in one motion. I rush to the front door opening it with my key, _"Eddie," _I call out slamming the door behind me._

_Eddie appears at the top of the stairs still in his pajamas, _"get dressed son, let's save your marriage, I think I know where Loren is." _I tell my son._

**~jm~**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks so much for the reviews of chapter 8. I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 9**

**Fighting For My Marriage **

_I have been riding on this bus for four and a half hours trying to figure out my next move. Do I kick her ass the minute she opens the door or do I give her the chance to explain herself before I kick her ass. Either way it goes, I've decided to kick her ass. _

_Yeah I know, little Loren Tate isn't a violent person. Well I'm not Loren Tate anymore; I'm Loren Duran the wife of international rock star Eddie Duran. I'm Loren Duran, the wife whose husband had a secret friendship with another woman. Not just any woman, his ex-fiancée who just happens to be the same person responsible for the death of his mother. Somehow she was able to weasel her way back into my husband's life and I'm going to fix that problem the minute I get off this bus._

_Wait a minute; I don't even know where she lives. I doubt it's listed in the telephone book. How do I get her address? I guess I should have figured that out before I got on this bus. It's not like I can walk up to someone and say, "excuse me, can you tell me where Chloe Carter lives?" There's one person I can call, I hope I can trust him. Pulling out my phone I turn it on. The phone dings indicating I have voicemail messages. "More messages from mom I bet," saying to myself. Ignoring the messages, I call MK club._

"Hello?"

"Grace, it's Loren. Don't say my name, are you alone? Answer yes or no."

"No."

"Mom or Max?"

"The first."

"Can you leave the room?"

"No."

"Is she standing near you?"

"Yes."

_Damn. I need this information. I'll take the chance, _"Grace, I need Tyler's number. Can you give me his number?"

"Sure, is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine, I just need his number."

_Grace says giving me Tyler's number._

"How are the twins?"

"Missing their Aunt Loren," _Grace says_.

"Is that Loren you're talking to Grace?" _I hear mom ask in the background._

"Sorry Lo," _Grace whispers to me._

"It's okay, thanks for the number. I will talk to you later," _I end the call before mom can get on the phone. I take a few deep breaths then dial Tyler's number. He answers after three rings,_ "This is Tyler."

"Hi Ty. This is Loren."

"Lo are you okay? Where are you?"

"I've been better," _I say_. "Look Ty, I don't have much time. I need some information but you can't ask me why."

"What kind of information do you need?"

"I need Chloe's Fresno address."

"Why do you need her address Lo?"

"No questions. Will you please give me the address?"

"Lo, I don't think that's a good idea. Call Eddie, he loves you. He's a wreck. He misses you."

"What about how I feel Ty? I'm a wreck, the man who says he loves me, has a secret friendship with his ex for five years and then kisses her the minute she gets out of jail. Explain to me how is that love."

"We all make mistakes. Eddie made a mistake and he regrets it. Chloe has a way of persuading men to do what she wants. Did you ask him why he kept his friendship a secret?"

"No I was too busy throwing punches to ask questions, Ty." _I'm sure he can hear the sarcasm in my voice. _

"Work things out with him. Don't throw away five years of marriage."

"Maybe you should have had this talk with him before he befriended her; maybe he would have thought twice before he kissed her." _My voice is dripping with sarcasm now._

"You and Eddie belong together. I'm sure that kiss meant nothing to him."

"How do you know Ty, you weren't there? She didn't reach out to you when she was in prison. You didn't go visit her every month for five years. You didn't buy another cellphone so she could call you. You didn't pay her rent for five years so she would have a place to go when she got out of jail. You didn't kiss her. Eddie did."

"What do you want with Chloe?"

_My patience is wearing thin by now. Tyler is making this more difficult that it should be, and I snapped. _"Just give me the damn address Tyler," _I say through my teeth, I hear Tyler take a deep breath before he gives me the address. _ "Thanks Ty, please don't tell anyone you gave me Chloe's address. I apologize for being bitchy. I'm just trying to figure things out."

"Will you answer one question?"

_I sigh_, "one question."

"Why did you and Eddie keep your marriage a secret for almost a year before telling your family and close friends?" _Tyler asks before ending the call._

_The bus pulls into the station in Fresno; I step off the bus go to the window to get the bus schedule then walk out to the curb. I decide to make one more phone call before getting into one of the taxis waiting at the curb. After five rings the call goes to voicemail._ "Hi this is Eddie, leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can," _beep._

"Was I just the rebound chick you married five years ago? Do you regret marrying me? Do you still love her? Did you even think about how I would feel when you were visiting her every month? Why did you kiss her Eddie?" _I end the call. I get into the taxi and give the driver the address. I lean my head back and rest my eyes, rethinking my strategy. Twenty minutes later, the taxi stops in front of a small one story house in the middle of the block. It reminds me of our house in the valley. I hand the driver a hundred dollars and ask him to wait for me. I take several deep breaths before I open the taxi door and get out. I slowly walk up the walk way to the front door. I crack my neck, roll my shoulders, crack my knuckles then knock on the door. After a minute the door opens. Standing before me is my husband's friend; Chloe Carter._

"Hi Loren. I was wondering when you were going to contact me." _Chloe steps back and gestures for me to come in. I walk through the door and turn around. Chloe closes the door._ "Have a seat, let's talk,"_ she tells me._

**~jm~**


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 10**

**Down and Out in Hollywood **

**(Down and Out in Beverly Hills an old 80s movie)**

_I searched for Loren for three days. I even contacted Joe, pop's private investigator, he couldn't find her. After the press conference I put on my favorite pajamas and laid around the house thinking about every stupid mistake I've made in my relationship with Loren. Now I'm waiting for the knock on the door from Loren's attorney office serving me with divorce papers. I could drag it out and fight against the divorce but why put her through that. I had a secret friendship with Chloe. I kissed Chloe; why would I hurt Loren even more by keeping her bound to me when she clearly wants out of this marriage. I won't fight it; I'll give her whatever she wants. The house. The cars. Every penny in our joint account. Whatever her demands are I will willingly give it to her and more. So I sit in my favorite pajamas waiting for the knock on the door. _

_I hear the tires of a car screech to a stop in the driveway and a car door slam. I get out my bed just as my father calls out to me. _"Get dressed son, let's save your marriage, I think I know where Loren is," _my father says to me when I walk to the top of the stairs._

"Pop I searched every place I could think of, Joe searched as well. Loren does not want to be found," _I say slowly walking down the stairs._

"Loren is an international rock star. If she went to a hotel or to the beach house, someone would have spotted her. But where is the one place she wouldn't be spotted and the last place we would think to look for her?" _Pop asks me as I plop down on the couch._

"Pop. Joe and I went over all the scenarios, and searched all the possible places Loren could have gone. She doesn't want to be found. I'm just waiting to be served with divorce papers now."

"You can't give up on your marriage son. You and Loren belong together."

_I look at my dad like he has three heads,_ "a week ago you wanted to kill me and you told me I deserve whatever Loren does to me. Why the change of heart?"

_Pop takes a deep breath and sits on the couch,_ "I was wrong son. I was so ready to think the worst of you instead of recognizing the man your mom and I raised you to be. I didn't give you the chance to explain why you kept your friendship a secret for five years. I wasn't there to help you through the pain of losing the love of your life. According to Nora I went Papa Grizzly on you. I'm here now son. I'm here to help you get the love of your life back. So get dressed and let's go."

"It's too late pop, Loren isn't coming back. This is different from the first time she and I fought that time on our first tour. This time we're not upset over some lap dances; this time I kept a big secret from her for five years and to top it off I kissed my ex- fiancée."

"Why did you kiss her son?"_ pop asks me._

"Honestly pop, I'm not exactly clear why I felt the need to comfort Chloe that way. I mean I know all the events that led up to the kiss but I don't love her; I care about her as a friend."

_Pop looks me in my eyes,_ "do you love Loren?"

"Of course I love Loren. I've loved Loren since the day she walked into my life pop. And I was engaged to Chloe when I finally met the lovely Loren Tate," _I chuckle, _"I fell in love with my best friend," _I say fighting back tears._ "I miss her pop. I miss her so much."

"I know son, that's why I'm here. Now go get dressed so we can go bring your wife home."

_I take one last look at pop before I stand up and walk towards the stairs, _"Hey Ed, you might want to take a hot shower before you get dresses," _pop says holding his nose. _"How long has it been since you showered?"

"Not since the press conference," _I say scratching the back of my head._

_Pop looks shocked, _"Eddie! That was four days ago!"

"I'm heartbroken pop," _I was walking up the stairs._

"Yeah, you smell like it," _I hear pop mumble._

_Thirty minutes later pop and I are pulling out the driveway. _"Where are we heading?"

"To the Tate family cabin in Big Bear," pop says.

"What makes you think she's there? Loren hates the cabin at Big Bear."

"That is the perfect place for her to hide-out for a week."

_I don't know why I didn't think of looking there. It's the perfect place to hide-out like pop says. It's secluded, she doesn't have to check in and cellphone reception sucks up here._

_After an hour of comfortable silence, I work up enough courage to ask pop a question._ "Pop. What changed your mind?"

_My father smiles, _"your friend wrote me a letter."

_I was shocked, pop actually read a letter Chloe wrote to him? _"What about the letter made you change your mind?"

"She signed it Cynthia Kowalski."

_I told Chloe to leave it alone. But I'm grateful that she would reach out to pop to help me. It's that side of Chloe I became friends with._ "You see that she's changed?" _I ask._

"I'm keeping an open mind and giving her the benefit of the doubt. She says she wants what's best for you and Loren." _ Pop listens as I tell him about my reasons for befriending Chloe; and why I ended that friendship a week ago._

_The ringing of pop's cellphone over the car sound system interrupts my story. Pop pushes the answer button, _"Hello?"

"Hi Max, this is Tyler. Is Eddie with you?"

"I'm right here Ty. What's up?"

"Why aren't you answering your phone? I've been calling you for almost an hour." _Tyler complains._

_I pat my pockets for my phone. I haven't heard it ring. _"I must have left it at home. What's the emergency?" _I ask._

"Loren called me." _I go silent. My heart is racing. Why would she call Tyler?_

_I take a long pause. _"Why did she call you Ty?"

"She asked me for Chloe's Fresno address." _I pause again. I'm speechless._

"How long ago was this?" _I ask, _

"Almost an hour ago," _pop crosses over three traffic lanes causing the drivers to press hard on their breaks. I hold on as he takes the next exit going well over the posted speed limit. We exit the freeway at the first exit and pop makes a left turn on a red light once again causing drivers to step on their breaks, this time earning him new profane names. He takes another left, this time on a green arrow and now we're back on the freeway going the opposite direction._

"Did you give her the address?" _I ask._

"Yes, I gave Loren the address."

"How did she sound Ty?" _I had to ask._

"Heartbroken. Mad. Determined." _Tyler chuckles._

_I close my eyes and take a deep breath,_ "did she say where she was?"

"No she didn't say, but I know she's on her way to Fresno."

"Thanks Ty," _I say._

"Hey Ed," _Tyler begins._

"Yeah?" I reply.

"I don't care how much Chloe may have changed. She is not the woman you or I was meant to be with. Let her go man. Move on. Let Chloe live her life and you live yours with Loren. Trust me, I've known Chloe since high school, it took me a long time to get to this point and I'm a better person for it. I wish Chloe the best, but some people are meant to be kept at a distance."_ Wow, I've never heard Tyler talk like this. _

"I think I remember how to get to her place in Fresno but you better give me the address anyway," _I say grabbing a pen and paper from the armrest. I write down the address. _"Thanks Ty. Thank you for everything man. Give my Goddaughters a kiss from Uncle Eddie."

"I will man. Good luck with Loren. Call me if you need me to meet you in Fresno."

"I can handle it. I'll call you later." _I say ending the call. I use pop's phone to call my voicemail and check messages. My heart stops when I hear the message Loren left an hour ago. Pop can hear it too since it's still the phone is still connected to the car's sound system. I look at my father with tears in my eyes. _"How do I fix this Pop?"

"Answer her questions son." _I think about it for a minute and a plan starts to form. I make a few more calls. I can tell pop likes my plan because he's smiling from ear to ear. Now that my plan is in place there's one more thing I have to do. I turn and look at my dad, "Pop_ from this point on I will pay for every speeding ticket or moving violation you get today, but I really need you to press on the gas. I need to get to Fresno."_ Pop nods his head as the car picks up speed._

**~jm~**


	11. Chapter 11

**I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 11**

**Let's Talk**

_Loren has been sitting across from me for ten minutes obviously at a loss for words. I'm not wearing any make-up so the battle scars on my face are a little shocking. I'm also wearing a short sleeved shirt so the scars on my arms are visible too. I've also managed to put on a little weight. I know my appearance is nothing like it was before I went to jail so I give her a few more minutes to get over the shock of my physical changes._

"You said you were wondering when I was going to contact you. Why?"_ Loren asks._

"After I talked to Eddie a week ago for the last time, I knew you had some questions for me. I've just been waiting for you to contact me."_ I smile trying to put her at ease. Loren gasps when she looks at my mouth. I purposely did not put my false upper teeth in._

"My front teeth were knocked out five years ago. I'm getting implants put in soon. I hate those false teeth."

"Chloe what happened to you?" _Loren whispers with tears in her eyes._

"Don't shed a tear for me Loren. And please don't pity me," _I tell her, _"Five years ago I was almost raped. Well wait; let me start at the beginning. After my sentencing, I was immediately transferred to the women's correctional facility. My first night there my cell-mate told me she was a big Eddie Duran fan and she punched me in my face. I screamed and she laughed as she continued to punch me in my face. The guard had to remove her from the cell and put her in solitary confinement for a few days. The next day I had a black eye and scratches all over my face. When I walked into the cafeteria, I was tripped, kicked and spit on by more Eddie Duran fans. And every day after that for six months I got my ass kicked by Eddie Duran fans. One morning I was in the shower and three women jumped me. I was slammed against the shower wall face first, knocking out my two front teeth, and then two women held me down while the other another climbed on top of me; about to rape me. She was a Loren Tate fan. Luckily the guard walked by before anything happened. But that day was my breaking point. Even though I was moved to another cell block, I knew I wasn't going to survive another day in prison much less ten years; five if I was granted parole; so I decided I was going to take my own life. One of my tormentors was singing Eddie's songs, One Day At A Time, and I took it as a sign, I needed to speak to Eddie one more time before I ended my life. I placed a collect call and prayed that he would accept the charges."

"Of course Eddie offered me words of encouragement and told me to save my tears for my pillow. But I knew I wouldn't survive. I asked the unthinkable, I asked Eddie to come visit me. He doesn't know this Loren, but his answer saved my life. At first he said he couldn't come so I knew then that as soon as I got back to my cell, I was going to end my life. But then he changed his answer and said he would try to visit me. That gave me hope, knowing that Eddie would come visit me made me want to live another day in the hell hole. Once Eddie came to see me things changed. I started telling him about myself. My real self, Cynthia Kowalski. When I left Fresno to make it big in Hollywood, I hated Cynthia Kowalski. She represented everything I didn't want to be so I legally changed my name to Chloe Carter and I reinvented myself. Chloe Carter was a do whatever it takes to make it big in Hollywood type of girl. It was life altering to finally embrace Cynthia Kowalski. After that first visit, Eddie came to see me once a month for five years. We talked and laughed, but mostly, he gave me the courage to live another month in that place. I started going to therapy. I even took some online college classes. I knew that modeling was no longer in my future when my back and face were slashed by a violent inmate who was a MK fan."

"Eddie talked about you every time he came to see me or when we talked on the phone."_ I say smiling at her._ "He talked about how much he loves you and that you truly are the love of his life. Eddie lights up when he talks about you. He's so proud of the confident, amazing artist you've become. He told me that he is the luckiest man in the world because he has you in his life." _Tears start to fall down her cheeks._ "Eddie wanted to do something real special for you on your first anniversary. Something that you would remember for the rest of your life. He asked me for some suggestions. I told him to make it something that only the two of you would know about." _Loren smiles. I know she's thinking of that day._

"It was the night before our second wedding, the one with our family and friends surrounding us,"_ Loren begins_, "Eddie blind folded me and drove me to a secret location. It turned out to be the Griffith Park Observatory. In the middle of the room was a blanket and picnic basket. We lay on the blanket and watched the show about the constellations then ate the snacks packed in the basket. Eddie and I walked over to the big telescope. Eddie let me look through it first. It was pointed at this beautiful bright star that seemed to light up the sky. I was mesmerized by it. When I moved away from the telescope so Eddie could look through it, he was holding a piece of paper inside of a frame. I read the front of the paper. Eddie had named that star after me. He said because it lit up the sky,"_ Loren smiled._

"Do you know why I'm so jealous of you Loren?"_ I ask._

_She nods her head yes, _"because I'm living the life you wanted."

_I laugh, _"No. I'm jealous of you because you left Eddie breathless from the moment you walked into MK the night of that song writing contest. I knew then that he was falling hard for you, even though he wouldn't admit it." _Loren looks shocked,_ "I've always wanted someone to feel that way about me. But I was too busy being someone I'm not. I accused you of taking Eddie away from me. Truth is, I pushed Eddie away with my lies and deceit. I was rude to you and your friend because I saw his attraction to you."

"Do you still love him Chloe?" _Loren whispers her eyes fill with anxiety._

_I look her dead in her eyes and give her an honest answer, _"yes Loren, I still love Eddie. He's a loving, caring, giving man. I would be out of my mind if I didn't still love him." _Loren's eyes narrow and her lips form a thin line. Her fists are bawled and I think I see steam coming from her ears. Loren is about to jump over this coffee table and attack me. So I quickly continue, _"but I'm not in love with Eddie. I never was. I was in love with the fame and fortune, never the man. I only saw Eddie as a stepping stone to the top. I tolerated the physical things, and treasured the material things. If Eddie would have named a star after me I would have laughed in his face and told him to get his money back. If someone better had come along, I would have dumped him in a minute." _Loren looks shocked._

"But Eddie loved you so much Chloe. How could you be like that towards him?"_ Loren asks._

"How could Eddie truly love someone he didn't truly know? Besides, I don't think Eddie was ever really in love with me. I was more like his grieving chick."

_Loren looks curiously at me, _"grieving chick?"

"Yes grieving chick she's the same as a rebound chick," _realization crosses her face. _"I was there for Eddie when he was grieving the death of his mother. He leaned on me for comfort and support then developed misguided feelings for me."

"And you were okay with that?" _Loren asks me._

"Yes. Eddie was a stepping stone; I became whatever he needed me to be just to get what I wanted."

"Does Eddie know all this?"

"Yes he does. It's something we talked about on several of his visits."

_I can see Loren's mind working; she's absentmindedly chewing on her bottom lip, taking in all this information. _"Did you ask Eddie to keep your friendship a secret?"

"No and I asked him why he chose to keep it a secret." _Loren looks at me, she's waiting for me to continue,_ "he never told me why he kept it a secret."

"Tell me more about your time in prison and your visits with Eddie," _Loren says and for the next two hours, I tell Loren everything, my time in prison, Eddie's visits, and the book deal._

"Chloe, thank you for being open and honest with me about your friendship with Eddie," _Loren says rising from the couch and walking towards the door._

"Loren, please give Eddie another chance. You two are miserable without each other.

_Loren stops with her hand on the door knob, _"why did you kiss Eddie?" _she asks not looking at me._

"Because I longed for the touch of a man," _I tell Loren. She nods her head and turns the knob. _ "Wait, I have something for you,"_ I tell her running to my room bringing back a package. I hand it to her, _"open it."

_Loren rips off the wrapping and stairs at the book's title, __LET'S TALK__ she opens it to the title page and reads the dedication out loud, _"To Eddie and Loren Duran, you two inspire me to be a better me. I hope one day I find the kind of love you two share. Hold onto each other at all times; what you have is real. Love CK." _Loren looks up at me, smiles then gives me a quick hug. _"Thanks Chloe."

"You're welcome Loren."

_I walk out of Chloe's house with her side of the story. I know didn't accomplish my mission, which was to kick her ass. Instead, I got a peek into why Eddie became Chloe's friend five years ago. I can't put it off any longer; it's time for me to talk to Eddie. I look up to see if the taxi driver is still there and stop in my tracks. Parked in front of Chloe's house is a black Escalade and a driver holding a sign with my name on it. I walk over to the driver, _"I'm Loren Duran," _I tell him. He opens the door and I climb in and freeze._

"Hi Lo."

**~jm~**


	12. Chapter 12

**I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 12**

**I'm Standing On The Edge **

**(Lyrics from Falling Into You by Cody Longo)**

_Loren is shocked to see me. _"I know I'm the last person you expected to see," _I say._ "Please don't leave. Please give me a chance to answer your questions, after that I will let you decide what happens next." _I hold my breath waiting for her to say something._

_I was not prepared to face him right now. I know I made up my mind to finally talk to him but I thought I would at least have time to compose myself. I sit in the seat across from him, close my eyes, count to ten then open my eyes, _"I need a minute. Can you give me a minute Eddie?"_ I ask him._

"Take all the time you need,"_ I tell her thankful that she didn't run away from me. I signal for the driver to drive. The first thirty minutes of our drive we stare into each other's eyes. I can't read her eyes right now and I dare not speak. I hold my breath waiting for the love of my life to say something. _

_I take a deep breath and break our eye connection. I turn my head and look out the window not really seeing anything. I'm still so angry with him. I'm feel betrayed. But I love him so much and I miss him. Tears begin to form in my eyes and before I know it they are falling down my cheeks. How could he do this to me?_

_Even though she breaks our eye connection, I continue to look at her. She's hurting and it's my fault. I watch as tears begin to roll down her cheeks. It's killing me. I want to go over to her and kiss those tears away. I wonder what she would do if I sat next to her and wiped the tears from her eyes. Will she reject me? Push me away? Or will she allow me to comfort her? To hell with it, I'll take my chances. I slowly unfasten my seat belt and lift up; she turns and looks at me. I slowly move across the truck and sit next to her._

_Out the corner of my eye I see Eddie unfasten his seat belt. I turn my head and look at him as he moves to sit next to me. I turn my head back to the window. I can feel him looking at me. More tears begin to fall from my eyes. I don't bother wiping them away. I feel Eddie's arm wrap around my shoulder. My body tenses._

_She doesn't question why I moved to the seat next to her. She turns her head and goes back to looking out the window but I can see more tears rolling down her cheeks. I slowly wrap my arm around her shoulder. I immediately feel the tension in her body but she doesn't pull away from me. I reach with my other hand until it is cupping her cheek and slowly turning her face to me. I use my thumb to wipe away her tears._

_I immediately drop my gaze. I can't look him in the eyes right now. I'm fighting back the sob that is making its way from my chest. His fingers move under my chin gently lifting my face until we're once again staring in each other's eyes. I see a man standing on the edge. The sob I'm so desperately trying to hold onto escapes my lips._

_I know the desperation I feel inside shows in my eyes. I'm desperately trying to hold onto my wife. My rock. My heart. The love of my life. My best friend. When she sobs my heart breaks even more. I've caused her so much pain. I unfasten her seat belt and pull her onto my lap her body shakes as more sobs tear through her body. I wrap my arms around her as she rests her head on my chest near my heart. I need her to hear my heart beat. I need her to listen to me when I answer her questions. I need her to know how much I love her. I need her to know that I'm sorry. I need her to forgive me. I need her to trust me again. I know Loren like I know my own heartbeat. I know she's made her decision._

_When Eddie pulls me onto his lap, I lose it, more sobs rip through my body as I think about everything that has happened. I can't find it within myself to forgive him, not right now. He broke my heart, how can I ever trust him again? I allow him to wrap his arm around me as I lay my head on his chest. My tears are soaking the front of his shirt as my body shake from the pain I'm in. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. After an hour the sobbing stops but the tears continue. I count his heart beats. I reach up and cup his cheek with my hand. I lift my head from his chest and stare into his eyes. I pull his face to me until his lips touch mine. I start off giving him soft sweet kisses on his lips, and then I trace his bottom lip with my tongue. My hand moves to the back of his neck pulling him closer to me. He opens his mouth as I deepen the kiss. He allowing me to control this kiss. I reminisce about how we began. His concert at the Avalon when he held my hand and sung to me. His song writing contest. Our first kiss. Our first time. Our Las Vegas Wedding. Everything plays in my mind like a slide show. I break the kiss and rest my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat again. He wraps his arms around me again this time tighter than before. _"I want a divorce,"_ I whisper._

_My foot slips from the edge._

_**~jm~**_


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 13**

**I Know That You're My Ledge **

**(Lyrics from Falling Into You by Cody Longo)**

_He stops breathing. His heart stops beating. His body goes stiff so I know he heard me say I want a divorce._

_I stop breathing. My heart stops beating. My body goes stiff. I can't lose her. Oh God. Please. This can't be happening. Please tell me she did not just say she wants a divorce. Divorce was never a part of our marriage vows. Divorce is not an option. I know I always tell her I would give her whatever she wants but a divorce I cannot give her. She can have my heart. She can have my soul. She can have my fame. She can have my fortune. She can hit me every day for the rest of my life. She can throw things at me for the rest of my life. She can move out of our bedroom. But she cannot have a divorce. I will fight her to the death if I have to, but I will not sign divorce papers. I will not divorce her. Death is the only thing that will part us. Not that friendship with Chloe. Not that kiss._

_His still isn't breathing. His heart still isn't beating. His body is still stiff. He still hasn't responded to my request. I know he heard me._

_I hurt her. I know the pain she's feeling. I've been in her shoes. I've walked that road. I can help her get through this like she helped me when I was in pain. I know she can forgive me. But can she forgive me for the kiss? Yes she can forgive me for kissing Chloe. I know a kiss can be an intimate act but I also know that kiss I shared with Chloe wasn't intimate. It was more like the kiss Loren just gave me. A goodbye kiss. I knew the minute I walked into Chloe's apartment that night that I would be saying goodbye. I helped her survive five years of prison and I truly wanted to continue our friendship once she got out, but I knew that our friendship was over when the parole committee granted her parole. There were no feelings behind that kiss. It was my final goodbye to Chloe. There was no way I could continue to keep my friendship from my wife and family. I don't regret my friendship with Chloe. I don't regret telling Chloe goodbye. I do regret the way I told her goodbye. _

_Should I say something? Did my words kill him? Why isn't he breathing? Why isn't his heart beating? Why hasn't his body relaxed? _

_What do I do now? I only get one shot at this. My life depends on this one shot. I have to get her to forgive me? I have to repair my marriage? We have to be alone. No distractions. No interruptions. Just the two of us. She hasn't given me the opportunity to answer the questions she left on my voicemail. That is where I start. I take a breath, I allow my heart start beating, I relax my body, _"No," _I whisper._ "I'm not giving you what you want."

_I release the breath I didn't know I was holding. His lungs take in air, his heart starts back beating, and his body is relaxed. Did he just tell me no? Did I hear him correctly? Who the hell does he think he is to tell me no? _"Excuse me," _I say._

"I said no Loren; I'm not giving you what you want this time," _I say a little louder so she can hear me._

"Why Eddie? Why won't you give me a divorce?" _I ask. Eddie never tells me no when I tell him I want something._

"You didn't give me the chance to answer your questions."

"What questions Eddie?"

"The questions you left on my voicemail? Give me the chance to answer those questions and any other questions you may have. Then if you decide you still want a divorce, I will sign the papers and set you free," _my heart starts to pick up speed waiting for her answer. I can't blow this chance. _"I will answer all your questions with complete and utter honesty. Just give me this one chance Loren. You owe me that much," _oops did I really just say she owes me something? She doesn't owe me anything. I'm ruining this before she even agrees to my request._

_Did he really just say I owe him something? I don't owe him a damn thing. He's the one who has been keeping secrets. He's the one who shared an extramarital kiss with another woman and he dare say I owe him the chance to answer my questions._ "I don't owe you a damn thing. I've already contacted my attorney Eddie. The divorce is happening whether you want it or not."

_Oh shit, I wasn't expecting this. She already filed! SHIT SHIT SHIT this wasn't a part of the plan. Think Duran, you don't need her to shut down on you know, _"I'm sorry Lo. You don't owe me anything. I didn't mean it like it came out. What I mean is after five years of marriage, I'm asking you to please give me the opportunity to answer your questions with love and honesty," _I could feel her body relax once again. I can't afford to make her mad now that I know she contacted her attorney. I hope defused that ticking bomb._

_I relax and count to ten. Eddie Duran was about to get punched in the gut for even thinking I owe him anything other than divorce papers. _"Okay. I will give you the chance to answer my questions. But let me warn you Eddie, I've had a week to think about this and my mind is made up. I want a divorce," _I had to make myself clear. _"Go ahead, answer my questions. Do you need me to repeat them?"

"No, you don't need to repeat them. But I don't want to answer them right now. You and I need to go somewhere where we can be alone. No interruptions. Just you and me talking," "_and working things out" I say to myself. _"Where do you want to go to talk?"_ I need her to be relaxed and open minded so I'm allowing her to pick the place for us to have this conversation. _

"What's wrong with us talking right now? It won't take that long for you to answer my questions. I don't have any other questions."

"We are an hour away from LA, I need more than an hour to answer your questions. And after hearing my answers you may come up with more questions. So I'm asking you, to please think of a place where we can be alone for more than an hour," _I hold my breath and wait for her to answer._

_There's only one place I can think of for us to be alone. _"Let's go to my family's cabin in Big Bear."

_I smile to myself. I know this woman like I know my own heartbeat. I knew she would pick the cabin. I just hope pop and Tyler can get everything in place for us before we get there. _"Okay let's go to the cabin in Big Bear for a few hours," _I say to myself. I pick up the car phone to tell the driver our new destination is Big Bear._

"I'm not going to change my mind Eddie. I want a divorce," _I tell him._

"I hear you baby. You want a divorce. All I'm asking is that you give me this one chance to answer your questions and after that I promise I will give you whatever you ask me for," _I'm smiling to myself because the fact that we're having this conversation with her still sitting in my lap wrapped in my arms makes me realize she doesn't really want a divorce. Yes I hear her say she wants a divorce, but I'm not listening to what she's saying. She may have contacted her attorney but the papers have not been filed. Yeah I know this woman like I know my own heartbeat; she doesn't really want a divorce. She's just wants the pain to go away and she thinks the only cure is a divorce. _

"Will you answer one question?" _I ask him._

"One question," _I say._

"How did you know I was in Fresno at Chloe's?"

"Ty called me and I told me you asked for Chloe's Fresno address. I charted a private jet and flew down here. I paid the taxi driver a thousand dollars to leave."

_I'm going to have a long conversation with Tyler when we get back from Fresno. I told him to not tell anyone I asked for Chloe's address. But now that I think about it, he didn't agree, instead he asked me a question I didn't answer. I'm surprised Eddie never asked me why I wanted to keep our marriage a secret for almost a year. He gave me what I asked for that time._ "That driver made a lot of money off of us today."

_Loren settles into my lap and before long, she falls asleep. I can't get cocky or over confident. For the next few days alone with Loren I will be fighting the fight of my life. I'm not going to make it easy for her to walk away from five years of marriage. We are in this together whether she likes it or not._

_**~jm~**_


	14. Chapter 14

**I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 14**

**And I Hold **

**(Lyrics from Falling Into You by Cody Longo)**

_It's dusk by the time we arrive at the cabin in Big Bear. Loren is still asleep on my lap. The driver opens the door, I carefully lift her bridal style and exit the car, _"there is a flower pot to the left of the steps; can you lift the plant and get the key out of the bottom please?" _I ask the driver. The driver walks away and comes back with the key. _"Thanks,"_ I say taking the key from him. _"Please put her bag inside the door before you leave and thank you for the ride,"_ I say to the driver as I walk up the steps and open the door. I carry Loren to the bedroom and gently lay her on the bed, slip off her shoes, and cover her with the blanket. Okay Duran this is it, your one and only shot at saving your marriage. I go into the other room, build a fire, sit on the couch and wait for Loren to wake up._

"Mmhmm,"_ I stretch my arms over my head and arch my back. _"Where am I,"_ I ask myself. I look around, burning candles are my only source of light but the room is familiar. _"I'm back at the cabin,"_ I say to myself. Eddie must have carried me in and put me in bed. I better go find him so we can get this over with. I climb out the bed and go into the other room. There is a fire burning low in the fireplace, candles burning in the kitchen and Eddie is asleep on the couch. I sit on the couch and watch him sleep for a few minutes. Tears form in my eyes because I know I love him, I just can't be his wife any more. I get up from the couch and go into the kitchen to find us something to eat._

"The power is out,_" I say and chuckle when she jumps at the sound of my voice. _"Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I placed candles around the cabin so we could have some light." _I walk over to the kitchen table and pull out a chair for her. _"I thought you might be hungry when you woke up so I walked down to that coffee shop next to the general store and picked up some sandwiches," _I tell her as I push her chair in once she sits down. I take the food out of the bag and put it on paper plates. Once I carry everything over to the table I sit across from Loren. _"Sorry, I fell asleep. I haven't slept since you left."

"How long was I out?" _I ask unwrapping my sandwich._

"A couple of hours," _I smile at her, _"You fell asleep in my arms on the way here. It felt good to hold you again. I miss you Lo. I love you," _I had to tell her. _

_I take a bite of my sandwich, and drop my eyes. I wish he would just answer my questions and get this over with. After a few minutes of us eating in silence, I look up at him. _"Was I just the rebound chick you married five years ago?" _I ask._

_Okay. So it starts. I swallow my bite of sandwich and clear my throat, _"Lo, you have never been the rebound chick. I told you at the beach bungalow that I was running away from my feelings for you. What I didn't tell you was that I've loved you from the moment you walked into MK the night of my song writing contest. I was finally face to face with Love2LoveYou. I didn't know I could fall so hard, so fast for someone and it scared me. Deep down I knew Chloe wasn't the woman I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. There were too many secrets and too many lies." _I reach out and cover her hand with mine, looking her deep in her eyes, hoping she can see all the way to my soul. _"You could never be the rebound chick because you have always been and will always be the one and only love of my life."

_Chloe said he fell for me the moment I walked into MK. But then again they could have come up with that story when he was secretly visiting her. _"Do you regret marrying me?" _I ask not looking him in his eyes._

_I squeeze her hand and wait for her to look at me. I've lost my appetite so I push my plate away with my other hand. _"Please look at me Loren," _I plead with her when she continued to look down. She slowly lifts her eyes until they meet mines. I smile at her, _"How could I ever regret marrying you? You make me whole. I thank God every day for brining you into my life. You make me so happy. If I could have married you right there on stage I would have done it in a heartbeat. I couldn't wait to make you Mrs. Duran so when you wanted to get married the next day I was on cloud nine. To answer your question, no I do not regret marrying you. I will never regret marrying you. If I had to do it over, a thousand times, I would marry you in that chapel in Las Vegas nine hundred and ninety nine of them," _I joke kissing the pack of her hand._

"And the thousandth time?" _I ask playing along._

"You and I would have gotten married right there on stage the minute you said yes to my marriage proposal," _I smile at her. That's a good sign she remembers our conversation the day after I finally worked up enough courage to kiss her for the first time. I remember how my heart was racing and I was stuttering standing there at her door. I had wanted to kiss her since the day she fainted in my arms. My eyes drop to her lips now remembering how they feel against mine. I want to go over there and kiss her until she forgets this divorce madness._

_I remember that day he was super early picking me up for my meeting with Kelly. I was in my robe and feeling anxious about the kiss we shared the night before and him regretting it. That internet photo of him and Chloe hugging ruined my special night. He used that "if I had to do it over, a thousand times" line on me and it worked. Eddie Duran charmed me that day. Why is he staring at my lips? I self-consciously bite my bottom lip. A groan escapes his lips. I scoot my chair back, stand up picking up our plates and walking over to dump them in the trash._

_I can't help myself; I get up from the table and walk over to her wrapping my arms around her from behind. I move her hair over to the side and place a soft kiss on her neck. She relaxes in my arms and rests her head on my chest. I place another soft kiss under her jawline, she gasps. I place another soft kiss on her cheek. The last kiss I place on the side of her mouth._

_Why is he kissing me like this? We are here to talk not make out. Before I know it, I turn in his arms and reach up to cup his cheeks. I stare into his eyes before my gaze drops to his lips. I couldn't help myself. I pull his face down until his lips are touching mine. I miss kissing him like this. I give into the moment and encourage him to deepen the kiss. He pulls me in closer to his body. After a few minutes, my hands drop to his shoulders; I have to stop this before it goes too far. I break the kiss and push him away. _ "Do you still love her?"

_I wonder why she pushed me away. She was enjoying that kiss just as much as I was. I could feel her heart racing. I take her hand a lead her to the couch. Before I sit down I add more logs to the fire._ "Chloe lied and manipulated me into thinking I was in love with her. After you came into my life I realized being in love really feels like. When I got to know Cynthia I grew to care about her. I didn't keep my friendship with her a secret for five years because I loved her. I kept it a secret because I knew you and pop wouldn't understand. I knew you would have asked me not to go. But it was something about her voice that worried me when she called me the first time. When I got there I saw what my fans; our fans were doing to her. Our fans were punishing her for something she's already been punished for. Chloe didn't deserve the brutal beatings she was getting." _I take a deep breath, _"I love you beyond words Loren. I will always love you. I know what I did was wrong and I'm deeply sorry for keeping my friendship a secret but to answer your question; no I do not still love her."

_She tries to commit suicide and he runs to the hospital. She calls him and he runs to the prison. He's right, I would have told him not to go visit Chloe. _"Why did you kiss her Eddie?"

_I take a deep breath and lock eyes with Loren, _"that was a goodbye kiss; much like the goodbye kiss you gave me in the back of the Escalade." _She looks shocked. I reach out and cup her cheek, "_Lo, did you really think you could kiss me like that and I not know the meaning behind it? I could have found a different way to say goodbye but she was crying and upset and I wanted to comfort her one last time. I could have kept the kiss a secret from you but I didn't. I wanted to finally come clean about everything. When I left her condo that night, I came home fully intending to tell you everything. To confess and ask for your forgiveness but you had already put two and two together. I'm sorry for the way I said goodbye. I'm not sorry I said goodbye." 

_It always comes back to Chloe._

_I give her a few minutes to digest everything before I ask,_ "do you have any more questions?" _I hope she does._

_I shake my head no._

"Do you still want a divorce?"

"Yes."

"WHY?" _I shout._

"BECAUSE I REGRET MARRYING YOU." _I shout back_

_**~jm~**_


	15. Chapter 15

**I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 15**

**Some Birds Are Too Bright To Cage **

**(Lyrics from Falling Into You by Cody Longo)**

_Oh my gosh! I said it out loud without thinking. I never wanted him to know I regret marrying him. I didn't want to hurt him like this. If I had known then that this is how we would end up, I would never have married him in Las Vegas. I would have waited a year or two to have the wedding I'd always dreamed of, with my mom and Mel there. I would have been sure of his love and that Chloe was out of his system for good. But I acted on impulse and married him the day after he proposed to me because I thought he really and truly loved me and Chloe was no longer a factor in his life. I wanted to hold onto that happiness. As long as people didn't know we were married nothing could come between us. I always knew she would find a way back into his life. That is why I wanted to keep our marriage a secret. I love him. I really do love him but everything comes back to Chloe. Her presence has always been in our relationship, his friendship with her started five years ago, shortly after we got married. We came home for Tyler's big movie premier and Eddie disappeared for a few hours. When the tour was on break for the holidays, Eddie disappeared for a few hours. I didn't question him because I trusted him and now I know I was foolish for not asking questions. I was foolish for letting it go on for five years now look at us sitting here in this cabin in Big Bear, me wanting a divorce, him desperately fighting for our marriage. It all comes back to Chloe. I can't take the look of shock and disbelief in his eyes so I turn my head and wish that I hadn't. Sitting on the coffee table is our divorce papers, the attorney messengered them to me the day before I went to Fresno. Eddie must have found them in my bag; my favorite writing pen is sitting next to the papers._

"_What. The. Hell!" I say to myself. I pour my heart out to her, and she regrets marrying me? I loved her, made love to her, shared my life with her and she regrets marrying me? I tell her she's the love of my life and she regrets marrying me? What is it with the women I open my heart to? Do I have "Fuck Over Eddie Duran" tattooed on my forehead or something? The pain I felt when Chloe broke my heart is nothing compared to what I'm feeling right now. I have to go. I can't stay here any longer. I can't look at her another minute. I get up and almost trip over the coffee table. I look down and see the divorce papers I found in her bag while she was asleep. I pick up the pen, sign my name and place the pen on top. I walk to the door and grab my jacket off the hook. Just then lighting flashes across the dark night sky followed by a ground shaking clap of thunder. I slam the cabin door and stomp down the stairs. The clouds open up and rain pours down on me as I run away from the woman who regrets marrying me._

_I jump up at the sound of the door slamming, run to the door and throw it open, _"EDDIE!" _I call out but he isn't there. I close the door, walk over to the coffee table and pick up the divorce papers staring his signature. I should be happy that he signed the papers but instead, I feel like my whole world is ending. I fall onto the couch resting my head on the back. _"What are you doing Loren?"_ I ask myself. I close my eyes and try to make sense of what just happened. I decide to go take a long hot bath to try and relax. I go pick up my bag by the door, Chloe's book drops out. I pick it up and carry it to the bathroom with me. I run the water in the tub and add some bath oils. I grab a flash light from the drawer in the kitchen and go back into the bathroom. I take off my clothes and slip into the hot water. My muscles begin to relax. I pick up the flash light and open the book to the first page._

_I've been sitting in the coffee shop for three hours waiting for the rain to let up. I don't want to have pop driving up here in this kind of weather. It's a good thing the coffee shop is twenty-four hours otherwise I would have to wait out the rain sitting at the bus stop. I can't wrap my head around her saying she regrets marrying me. Just thinking of her words brings a wave of unbearable pain. Has she always regretted marrying me? Why didn't I know this? I always said I know her like I know my own heartbeat so why didn't I know the love of my life regretted marrying me. Well I'm giving her what she wants. She wants a divorce and I signed the papers. I don't want to be tied to someone who doesn't want to be tied to me. I sat there and allowed her to take her anger out on me that night and all along she was regretting marrying me. I begged my father to put me out of my misery and all along she was regretting marrying me. Well she doesn't have to regret it any longer. I signed the damn papers. This doesn't make sense. How could I have lived and loved her for five years and not know she regretted marrying me? Now that I think of it, she couldn't look me in my eyes when she asked if I regretted marrying her. Loren isn't telling me everything. I pay my tab and walk out the coffee shop heading back to the cabin. It's raining harder now and the temperature has drop tremendously. I ignore the pain of the cold wet weather; Loren Duran owes me an explanation. _

_After three hours, I finally decide to get out the tub. I put the book down long enough to dry off and slip on an oversized t-shirt and panties. I let the water out of the tub and carry the book and flashlight into the bedroom. I climb into bed and continue reading the book. I get to the middle of the book and something pops into my head. Chloe didn't know we were married the first time she called Eddie, no one knew. We didn't tell anyone until almost a year later. I sit up and flip back to the title page again. I hear the front door open and slam close. I jump out the bed and run to the doorway. Eddie is standing in front of the door, dripping wet and looking furious. _"How Long?" _He ask me in a demanding voice. I look down at the floor. _"How fucking long Loren?" _I jump and look up at him with fear in my eyes. Eddie has never used profanity towards me. tears start to form in my eyes. Eddie is about to learn he wasn't the only one keeping secrets._

_**~jm~ **_


	16. Chapter 16

**I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 16**

**Thin Line Between Love and Hate**

_Eddie is standing there soaking wet anger radiating off his body. I made the mistake of looking at the divorce papers still sitting on the coffee table where I left them. He must have anticipated my move because before I could even take a step, Eddie jumped over the couch and snatched the papers off the coffee table. My eyes follow him as he walks around the coffee table and over to the fire holding the divorce papers in his hand. He's looking at the fire burning low in the fireplace. _"DAMNIT LOREN ANSWER ME!" _he yells at me turning his head to look at me. I stand there speechless, he has never been this mad at me yet I still can't answer him. I take a step towards him, he doesn't react. I take another step towards him; he turns his head back to the fire. _"Don't come near me Loren." _I freeze in my tracks, take a deep breath wait a minute, then take a step towards him. His whole body is shaking, his clothes are soaking wet. _

"Eddie you really need to get out of those clothes before you get sick," _I whisper taking the last step and I'm standing behind him. I reach out and take the divorce papers from his hand and place them on the mantle in front of him then I grab his jacket and slowly pull it off him. I grab the hem of his shirt and slowly roll it up; he raises his arms I pull his t-shirt over his head. I run my hands down his back and around his waist until I wrap my arms around him from behind and unbuckle his belt, unbutton and unzip his pants. He kicks off his wet shoes as my fingers hook inside of the waist of his jean and pull them down. He steps out of them, _"Go take a hot shower Eddie, I'll make us some tea and I'll answer all your questions," _I tell him. He turns in my arms; my eyes focus on his chest, I can't look him in his eyes, it will knock me over. His fingers lift my chin forcing me to look up at him. _

"How long have you regretted marrying me?" _he whispers. _

_I close my eyes, _"the minute we walked out the chapel," _I answer. The air in the room goes completely still. I hear the rain falling hard on the roof of the cabin; I hear the logs crackling in the fireplace. What I don't hear is Eddie breathing. I open my eyes and look up at him. I can't even begin to describe the depth of pain I see in his eyes. Eddie takes a step back, away from me. His movement breaks my heart even more. I look at him and the rage in his eyes makes me take a step back. Eddie turns on his heels and walks over to the closet and pulls out a bag. He unzips the bag and walks over to the cabin's fuse box, suddenly the lights come on. He picks up the bag and walks into the bathroom slamming the door. I walk into the kitchen and make us some tea, preparing myself to answer his questions._

_I stand in the shower and let hot water run down my head and body. She's regretted marrying me from the beginning. I don't get it. It was her idea to get married right away in the first place. I told her to take all the time she needed, I wanted her to have the wedding she'd always dreamed of. I've always put Loren's needs first because she was the love of my life. Funny how I now think of my love for her in the past tense. I thought I knew Loren. She gave me her body, I was her first. Did she regret everything we ever shared? What isn't she telling me? The water starts to turn cold; I turn it off and step out the shower. After I dry off I grab a pair of sweats and a muscle t-shirt from the bag pop and Tyler stashed when they came up here to take the fuses out the fuse box. I wanted the atmosphere to be romantic so that Loren and I could talk and work things out. Instead I find out that the woman I married five years ago regrets becoming my wife. I thought she was nothing like Chloe. I must admit, she's a much better actress than Chloe ever was. I walk out the bathroom to see that Loren turned off the lights in the cabin and put more logs on the fire. A cup of hot tea sitting on the coffee table waiting for me and Loren sitting on the couch with her feet tucked under her sipping tea from her cup. She turns and looks at me; I can tell she has been crying but I'm too numb to care. Her tears no longer have any effect on me. Ignore the cup of tea sitting on the coffee table and go into the kitchen to search the cabinets for some hard liquor. I find a small bottle of whiskey and I make myself a cup of tea with whiskey. I'm not sure if you can really say there's tea in my cup because there's more whiskey than tea. I take my cup and sit on the other end of the couch staring at the fire. _"Eddie, I love you. I'm in love with you and I'm so sorry for hurting you. I never thought that I would have to tell you this." _Her voice is barely louder than a whisper. _"Yes I regret marrying you in Las Vegas but not for the reasons you think." _I turn and look at her my eyes are dead and cold._

"How could you possibly know what I'm thinking?" _I ask her._

_She sits her tea cup on the coffee table and scoot closer to me, her t-shirt rising up to her waist. _"I know you're thinking I'm just like Chloe. That I've lied and manipulated my way into your life. But that's far from the truth," _she rests her hand on my knee. I remove her hand. _

"Please enlighten me," _I say not looking at her._

"The night Chloe came to the police station to recant her story, she and I were waiting for the detective to come back to take her statement, I thanked her for coming down and telling the truth. Chloe told me that she's only there so that you know how much she loves you and that no matter what she will always be a part of your life. In your eyes, I will always be nothing more than the rebound chick. She said it was just a matter of time before you realized that I'm not who you want to be with and will regret even being in a relationship with me because you still love her. Chloe also said that the physical attraction you two share will never go away. She told me that you would never marry me."_ She pause, I turn my head and look at her, cocking my head to the side waiting for her to continue. _"I was fed up with Chloe and her games of manipulation so I told her that you were completely over her; you told me you love me before you got arrested. You risked your freedom to see me and that proves that I wasn't the rebound chick. She laughed in my face and that made me angry. So I bet her that you would ask me to marry you because you want to spend the rest of your life with me."

"You made a bet with Chloe that I would marry you?" _I ask through my teeth,_ "how very confident of you." _She closes her eyes as tears begin to roll down her cheeks. _"Your tears no longer affect me Loren." _I say to her. She takes a deep breath and dries her eyes. _"So how much was my marriage proposal worth?"

"We didn't bet money Eddie, it was more like a challenge. I told her I could get you to marry me, because she was completely out of your system. She said if you marry me she could get you to cheat on me and eventually leave me for her. That is why I wanted to keep our marriage a secret. I love you so much Eddie and I didn't want you tempted by Chloe. Even though she was in prison, I knew she would find a way to get to you. I was confident in your love for me." _The whiskey is starting to go to my head. I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes. Chloe was up to her old trick of lies and manipulation to get me back into her life and my wife was in on it the whole time._ "I was so happy when you proposed, not because of the challenge but because I loved you and wanted to commit myself to you for the rest of my life, but I regret marrying you in Las Vegas because it was for the wrong reasons. I married you in Las Vegas to win the challenge; by the time I realized that what I was doing to you was unfair we were already legally married."

"Why the divorce?"_ I ask my eyes are still close and my head is still resting on the back of the couch. I felt her move then before I knew it, she is straddling my lap, both hands cupping my face. I still won't open my eyes._

"At first I wanted a divorce because I thought Chloe lived up to the challenge and got you to cheat on me. Then after I went to Fresno, I wanted a divorce so we could start over again. I want to marry you again and commit myself to you again for the right reasons under the right circumstances," _she cries. I open my eyes and look at her. _"Chloe didn't know we were married when she reached out to you, so her cry for help was real. I was the foolish one who continued with the challenge while Chloe was literally trying to survive in prison."

_I know she can see the anger and pain I feel for her in my eyes. I want her to hurt just as much as she's hurt me, _"what makes you think I'd ever want to marry you again?" _I ask her lifting her up off my lap and going into the kitchen to fix me another cup of whiskey tea._

_**~jm~**_


	17. Chapter 17

**I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 17**

**I Can't Stand The Rain**

_Okay, I deserved that. I hurt him; but he hurt me too. We need to talk about this. We can work this out and get remarried and start over again. I just need to find a way to get through to him. I follow him into the kitchen. _"You still love me Eddie, I know you do. I know you like I know my own heartbeat. You're hurting, I get that. I know I'm responsible for the pain you're in. I'm sorry. But you hurt me too, and I forgive you Eddie. I forgive you for having a secret friendship with Chloe for five years. I forgive you for that bullshit goodbye kiss you gave her. Why can't you forgive me?"

_I don't bother making tea; I just get the bottle of whiskey out of the cabinet and pour some into my tea cup drinking it down in one gulp._

"Whiskey won't make you feel better Eddie," _I say._

"Yeah you should know,"_ I say with animosity. _"Maybe I'd feel better if I threw the bottle at your head after I take a few shots," _I tell her pouring more whiskey in my tea cup and taking a long drink._

"Do it," _I tell him._

_I lower the cup, _"What?"

"You heard me, do it." _I challenge him,_ "throw the bottle of whiskey at me if it will make you feel better. If you really think throwing that bottle at me will make you feel better, do it," _deep down I'm afraid he will throw the bottle at me. _"I will stand here and be your target on one condition,"_ my breath catches in my throat, as tears pool in my eyes, _"you have to forgive me, I made a mistake; we both made mistakes" _I shake my head and gasp for air, _"you have to tell me you forgive me and mean it," _I suppress a sob, willing myself to stand still. I try as hard as I can to control the tears but a few escape, falling down my cheeks. I quickly wipe them away because like he said, my tears no longer affect him._ "Throw the bottle at me Eddie," _a sob escapes._

_I stare at her in disbelief. She is really telling me to throw the bottle at her. _"Did it make you feel better when you threw a bottle of whiskey at me?" _I arch an eyebrow, _"Or how about when you threw the shot glass at me?_" I throw my arms out spilling whiskey on my hand, _"I know. You felt better when you threw your cellphone at me then punched me seven times in my face and head. That's when you felt better right?" _I take another long drink of whiskey, pick up the bottle and refill my cup. _"Sorry babe, I'm not in a forgiving mood,"_ I say walking past her and plopping down on the couch._

"What do I have to do for you to forgive me Eddie? What will it take to prove to you that I'm sorry and I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you?" _I ask with my back to him._

_I down the last of the whiskey in my cup. The liquid burns as it slides down my throat. _"Go stand out in the rain for a while, then I'll forgive you," _I tell her. I know I'm being an ass but I'm hurting and I want her to feel as bad as I do. I lean my head back on the couch and close my eyes waiting for the whiskey to numb me. A few minutes later, I hear the cabin door open and close._

_Damn it's freezing out here. The minute I opened the door I feel the sting of the cold night air on my skin. I'm standing in the rain in a t-shirt and panties and bare feet so the man I love will forgive me. I know he still loves me, if he didn't then he wouldn't be this mad. Together we can ease each other's pain but he has to be willing to meet me half way. If this is the only way for me to prove my love then I will happily stand here in the freezing rain._

_I shake my head. Does she really think I'm going to forgive her just because she's standing out in the rain? How delusional can she be? She only married me because of a challenge? What a wonderful way to say I love you? I chuckle. My mind wonders back to our conversation trying to make since of all this. How did we get here? Oh yeah, it started with my secret five year friendship with the woman who makes my wife insecure then ends with my insecure wife, girlfriend at the time, challenging my ex-fiancée turn friend. "Wow Duran, the women in your life challenged each other for your affections. You should be flattered. Your head should be so big right now," I say to myself. Well I'm not flattered; one is responsible for the death of my mother and the other only married me because of a challenge. After everything we've been through, how could Loren think I would ever cheat on her? I sit up so fast the room spins. How long has she been standing out there? I jump to my feet and run to the door. I throw it open and see Loren is standing there shivering; teeth shattering, lips blue t-shirt soak and wet with no shoes on. I run down the steps and scoop her up in my arms and run back inside slamming the door shut behind me. I walk over to the fireplace and place her on her feet. _"What's wrong with you Lo? Why would you stand out there in nothing put a t-shirt and panties? I'm not worth your health."

"You're worth it to me."_ I say through my chattering teeth. For the first time since I told him I regretted marrying him, Eddie looks at me with love in his eyes. My whole body is numb, I can't feel my toes. I watch as Eddie puts more logs in the fire and runs to the bedroom bringing back several blankets._

"Let's get this wet t-shirt off you," _I say pulling the wet shirt over her head, throwing it in the corner. I pull off her wet panties too and throw them in the corner too. I pick up the blankets off the floor and wrap them around her then sit her on the rug in front of the fireplace. I run to the bathroom and grab a towel and go back and towel dry her hair._

_If he didn't love me he wouldn't take care of me like this. I know we can get past this. But first I need to get warm. I can't stop my body from shaking. _"Thank you," _I tell him. _

_Her body is still shaking and her teeth are still chattering. I can't believe she stood out there that long to gain my forgiveness. _"You're welcome," _I say sitting behind her wrapping my arms around her. Damn she should be warming up by now. I stand up, put more logs on the fire and then strip off my clothes. I take the last blanket and lay it directly in front of the fireplace. I go back and scoop her up in my arms and lay her down on the blanket. I open the blankets and lay down with her covering us with the blankets. I wrap her in my arms around her and pull her body closer to mine._

"I love you Eddie," _I say my teeth still chattering. I feel his heart beat faster._

_I don't answer._

_After a few minutes, I feel my body start to warm up. My arms and face are plastered to his chest. I can't help myself; I caress his chest with my hands and follow the path with my lips. I can feel his body react. My hands move up to his shoulders and my lips follow. Eddie's arms tighten around me as he caresses my back. My lips move to his neck and I gently bite the spot on his neck just under his jawline. A moan escapes his lips. I roll him over onto his back and climb on top of him straddling his hips. His hands move to my waist pulling me close to him, I feel his excitement for me between my legs. My body reacts to the feel of him. I cup his face with my hands and stare in his eyes lowering my lips to his. His hand travels up my back to the back of my neck pulling me closer to his mouth. I close the distance as my lips connect with his. He bites my bottom lip and I open my mouth allowing his tongue inside. We kiss and caress each other's body until the need to have him inside me becomes painful. Eddie rolls me over onto my back as I wrap my legs around his waist locking my ankles together. I gasp at the feel of him inside me. I miss this. He starts thrusting and I move my hips to match each of his strokes. I cup his face urging him to look at me. I want him to see my love for him in my eyes; feel my love through the beat of my heart; know my desire from the rise and fall of my hips as they match his strokes. I love this man with every fiber of my being. I roll him over so that I'm on top looking down at him. He grabs my hips and pulls me down as he thrusts up. I lean over and he takes my nipple in his mouth. I moan. Eddie quickly finds my spot and concentrates his thrusts there I feel the fire starting to build in the depths of my body. My walls contract as his strokes slide in and out of me. He rolls me back over onto my back. The fire continues to grow as I get closer to my release. I clinch my muscles around him because I know this pushes him over the edge. Together we climax fast and hard. He pulls out, rolls off me and pulls me into his arms, my back to his chest. "_I love you Eddie," _I tell him once my breathing is back to normal. I wait for him to say it back. After a few minutes, my heart drops to my feet as tears pool in my eyes threatening to spill over. This is the second time he doesn't say it back. _

"I love you too Lo," _he whispers. I smile and settle into his arms and drift off to sleep._

_**~jm~**_


	18. Chapter 18

**I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets Chapter 18**

**In Sickness And In Health**

"Mmhmm"_ I stretch my body, it feels like I'm sun bathing. The heat feels good on my back. I don't want to leave the comfort of the sun's heat on my body. Then my mind clears and I hear the rain hitting the roof of the cabin. Where is the rain coming from? The fog lifts and it all comes back to me. We're at the cabin in Big Bear, and it's raining outside. Eddie and I have been keeping secrets from one another. Where is this heat coming from? My mind continues to replay last night's events; my body jerks as I sit up. I place my hands on Eddie's body and gasp. _"Eddie! Wake up, you're burning up with fever,"_ I try to yell but my voice is hoarse and raspy. I clear my scratchy throat and shake his shoulders, _"Eddie, please wake up. You have a fever, I need to get you into the tub to cool your body down," _I plead but I doubt he can hear me my voice is no louder than a whisper. I jump up from our pallet in front of the fireplace pulling the blankets off his naked body; I run to the bathroom and turn on the water in the tub. I grab some towels, soak them with water, wring them out and race back to the pallet. I wrap the towels around his body then pick up the phone and dial the number to the general store down the road._

"General Store, Tom speaking."

"Tom this is Loren Dur, I mean Melissa Sanders. My husband has a very high fever, is there a doctor I can call?" _I shout as loud as I can because my throat is scratchy and my voice is hoarse._

"Sure Melissa, Dr. Goldman makes house calls. She has a clinic about two miles away," _he says giving me the number._

"Thanks Tom,"_ I manage to say before ending the call and dialing the number for the doctor's office._

"Doctor Goldman's office. This is Dr. Goldman speaking."

"My name is Melissa Sanders, my husband has a high fever, I was hoping you could come take a look at him," _I say trying to speak as loud as I can._

"I can't come right now; my clinic is packed with sick people who got caught by surprise with this late fall rain yesterday. How high is his fever?"

"I don't know," _I look over at him and his cheeks are red. _"He's very hot to the touch."

"Just write down my instructions. If you have Tylenol two tablets every four hours until his fever breaks. If you have ibuprofen give him two tablets every six hours,"

"Which one works best," _I ask interrupting her._

"Whichever one you have in your medicine cabinet. Make sure he gets lots of fluids and try to get him to eat some soup or broth. . If he has a sore throat, take an old knee sock and fill it with salt, tie off the end and heat the sock; not too hot. Place the sock on his neck. If his fever doesn't break by morning or his symptoms get worse, get him to the emergency room right away," _I write down her instructions._

"Thank you Dr. Goldman," _I whisper._

"Honey, don't strain your voice, it sounds like you have laryngitis. It can damage your vocal cords. No talking, whispering, shouting, or alcohol. If you have to go out in this weather keep your neck covered. If you have a sore throat as well try the sock remedy. I see you're calling from the Tate family cabin. I know where that is. I will come by after I close the clinic to check on you two. If you need anything, call Tom at the general store, he makes deliveries."

"Thanks again Dr. Goldman, oops,"_ I whisper._

_Doctor Goldman chuckles, _"you're welcome. I will see you around six," _she says and ends the call. I look over at Eddie, he's still asleep. I walk over to him and kneel next to him touching his body. He's still hot. I call the general store and give Tom the list of supplies I need. I go get dressed and manage to slip on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt on Eddie's body. Twenty minutes later there's a knock at the door. Tom brings in the bags and puts them on the kitchen table. _"Thanks Tom," _I say paying him and giving a very generous tip._

"You're welcome Loren. I hope Eddie gets better. Call me if you need anything else," _I blush from embarrassment; I guess Tom knew my true identity all along. I pull the ear thermometer out of one of the bags and take Eddie's temperature; it's one-hundred and two. I take two tablets from the bottle of Tylenol crush them and put it on a spoon with a little juice. I grab a bottle of water and take it to him. _"Eddie please wake up, you have a fever. You need to take this medicine," _I plead with him. His eyes flutter but don't open. I wrap my arm around his shoulders and lift him up as best as I can and manage to get him to take the medicine and a sip of water. I do this every four hours. _

_It's getting dark and Eddie is still asleep. His temperature is almost back to normal. I'm in the kitchen warming up some broth when I hear Eddie moan. I go back to the pallet in front of the fireplace. _

"MmHmm. My head hurts," _I whisper, I try to swallow and immediately regret it. _"My throat hurts too,"_ I whisper, _"and my body aches." _I moan. I'm hardly ever sick and I hate this feeling. _

"Here, drink this," _I tell him giving him some broth._

"Why are your whispering?" _I ask her swallowing sipping the broth._

"I'm not whispering,"_ I say._

_I try to sit up more but my head hurts and my body aches; I flop back down on the pallet. I reach out and cup her cheek, "_Lo, you feel warm and it sounds like you have laryngitis. We need to get you back to LA so you can see the doctor."

_I shake my head no, _"I don't want you going out, it's still raining and there's sleet too. Plus you've had a high fever most of the day."

"Baby, please stop talking. I don't want you to damage your vocal cords. I'm so sorry I told you to go stand out in the rain. I was being mean to you," _I whisper. _"I will get up and go get some supplies from the general store for your throat."

"I already got everything we need from the general store. I'll make us some tea with honey,"_ I go to stand up but Eddie pulls me back down and wraps his arms around me._

"Stop talking," _I tell her kissing the top of her head, _"I will make us some tea. You go sit on the couch and wrap a blanket around you." _I try to get up but I'm too weak. I have to get up. I can't allow Loren to take care of me. I need to be taking care of her. _"Can you help me up please?" _I ask._

"Eddie, you're too weak to get on your feet. I will make us some tea. Do you want some more broth?"_ I ask._

"Baby please stop talking. I mean it. Stop talking, not another word until you are seen by a doctor." _I'm getting angry now. My guilt is consuming me. If her vocal cords are permanently damaged then that means the end of her singing career and I can't let that happen. I know how much she loves singing. She gave up going to Brown to pursue her music dreams and because of my selfishness her dream may end. _"Please Lo, for me, stop talking."

_He's right, if I ever want to sing again, I have to stop talking until I can be seen by an ENT specialist. This is going to be hard. Eddie and I still need to talk about the secrets we've been keeping. I nod my head yes._

"Thank you,"_ I say kissing her hand._ "Now please help me up, the floor is killing my back." _She nods her head yes and helps me sit up, and then slowly stand. I'm a little wobbly on my feet but we manage to make it to the couch. _"I will get you something for your fever and then fix you something to eat. Do you want some soup? My mom always made me chicken noodle soup when I was sick." _She shakes her head no. I pull a fresh blanket out the closet and drape it over Loren then go into the kitchen and grab some medicine and a bottle of water. I take everything back to her and watch as she takes the pills and drink some water. I sit on the couch next to her and wrap my arms around her. Loren and I need to talk; so many things were left unsaid last night. Sex is not the answer to our problems. I cup her face with my hands. _"I love you Lo. And I want us to work things out and move on. I don't want a divorce. Please don't file the papers."

_I smile at him as tears pool in my eyes as I mouth "okay." _

_As promised, Doctor J. Goldman stopped by after the clinic closed. We were surprised when she recognized us. Her granddaughter is a big fan. I promised to send them tickets to our next concert along with backstage passes. Dr. Goldman also arranged for the ENT from the hospital examine Loren the next day. For the next three days, Loren and I nursed each other back to health. We were able to talk about our relationship and the mistakes we both made. Well I did all the talking. Loren had to write everything on the mini dry ease board Dr. Goldman bought that evening she came to check up on us the first time. During the day we took turns waiting on each other. And at night, Loren and I cuddle by the fire as I read Chloe's book out loud. It was fun watching her struggle with the no talking rule, especially when we were making love by the fire. She couldn't pick up the mini dry ease board and write ooohhh and awww in the middle of our mind blowing love making. I must admit, I miss hearing her voice. _

_Once we get back to LA, I immediately take Loren to see the ENT specialist. Her vocal cords were not damaged and there is no infection. But until the swelling is gone, she cannot talk what so ever. We burned the divorce papers the day we left the cabin in Big Bear and decided to renew our vows in that chapel in Las Vegas; this time no secrets._

_A month later, Loren and I are getting dressed in our hotel suite in Las Vegas. I can tell she's worried about something. _"Babe, what's wrong?" _I'm starting to worry that she may regret renewing our vows. She turns and looks at me with tears in her eyes. My heart drops. _"Lo we promised each other, no more secrets. Please tell me what's wrong?"

"Eddie, I've been keeping another secret and I can't renew my wedding vow without telling you first," _she says and my heart stops._

"How long have you been keeping this secret?"_ I'm afraid of the answer._

"A week,"_ she says dropping her eyes. Okay, I can handle this. I take a deep breath and lift her chin with my fingers so that she has no choice but to look at me._

"What's your secret?" _I ask. Tears start to fall down her cheeks. I wipe them away with my thumbs._

"I'm pregnant."

**The End**

**~jm~**

**Thank you for taking this journey with me. The ending was up in the air until I sat down and re-read the entire story. In the end, I am a big Leddie fan and could not break them up.****I had a lot of fun writing this story and keeping you guys guessing what happens next. I really loved reading your reviews and PMs. You guys inspire me to write more stories and one-shots.**


	19. Chapter 19

**This is the letter Eddie wrote to the parole committee. I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created. **

**Keeping Secrets**

**Epilogue**

To The Parole Committee:

I know I'm the last person you would expect to write a letter on behalf of Chloe Carter because I am the son of the victim. I have every reason to hate her. Chloe lied and manipulated her way into my life; she was my fiancée. A wise woman once told me forgiveness is not for the other person, forgiveness is for you. I didn't know what that meant until I decided to forgive Chloe.

Once I was able to forgive Chloe, I was able to live my life with arms wide open. For the past five years, I have been secretly visiting Chloe once a month. She reached out to me one day and every instinct in me screamed "hang up the phone." But there was something in her voice that wouldn't let me. The Chloe I knew was confident and selfish. The Chloe I visited the first time was scared and abused. You see people who say they are my fans or fans of my wife and parents have taken on the task of dishing out street justice in the form of physical violence towards Chloe. I don't not agree with their actions; Chloe has been punished through the justice system. How dare anyone take it upon themselves to punish her even more?

The Chloe I got to know, the real Chloe Carter is insecure and vulnerable. I've risked my marriage and my relationship with my father becoming Chloe's friend. The Chloe they knew five years ago no longer exists. The Chloe, my friend is loving and caring and growing as a person. Chloe needs forgiveness and acceptance not broken arms and attempted rape.

Another five years in prison won't do anything but kill Chloe. Since she's been incarcerated, she has taken online college classes and goes to therapy once a week. Chloe is on the path to changing her life and deserves the chance to live that life beyond the walls and barbed wire of that women's correctional facility. Chloe's future is still unwritten, but I do know her future is not another five years in prison. I used to believe that Chloe was incapable of change, I was wrong. Chloe can and has changed.

I miss my mom every day but she continues to live in my heart and in my memories. Death and goodbyes are a part of life and saying goodbye to my mom was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. If my mom were here today, she would forgive Chloe and find a way to help her. My mom would never sit back and allow fans to physically harm someone who is already paying for their crime. My mom isn't here to speak on behalf of Chloe Carter; but I'm here, the son of the victim, asking you to please grant Chloe Carter's parole.

Respectfully,

Eduardo Duran

**Thank you guys again for all the reviews, favorites and follows. I'm taking a break so I can catch up on the stories and authors I follow. Then I will start another story (after I write the one-shot requested by a reader). Happy Reading. TTYL ~jm~**


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